The Antenna

2011-12-29T11:56:00.002-05:00

I predict that if Obama selects Hillary Clinton as his running mate, that he will actually win re-election (he may still anyway).

For some reason, people seem to love her and to think she would do a good job, and if they can't get her as president I am sure they would vote her into a vice-president position in the hopes that she would then run for president the following term.

I honestly cannot fathom this. I was a young girl when the Clintons appeared on the national scene, and I found her repellent. She had such a cold, reptilian expression in her eyes. She is the first person I can recall seeing photos / video footage of and, without knowing anything about her, getting the sense that here was a person with a great capacity for evil. I'll be the first to admit that, writing it out like this, it sounds more than a little crazy, but the intervening two decades and expanded knowledge of the woman have done nothing to change that opinion - only cemented it.

2011-12-16T07:52:00.002-05:00

Christopher Hitchens is dead. I only knew of him because his atheist writings were discussed on a few of the blogs I frequent. I do not understand why some people that claim to be Christians seem to take pleasure in this event, or why they would self-righteously speak of his place of torment in Hell - as if he had done them a personal wrong and they were now avenged.

When the sheep and the goats are separated, I daresay there will be some surprises.

2011-12-06T07:42:00.003-05:00

Pedophilia rampant in Hollywood

Absolutely not surprised by this. The altar of fame and fortune must have its sacrifices and its temple prostitutes.

And if human history has seen parents throw their children living into the flames of Moloch, it's also no surprise that they would remain silent and complicit while their children are devoured in an equally destructive fire.

2011-12-01T09:32:00.002-05:00

I am sure there are some who would criticize the deputies and the movers; or who would claim it was just because of the woman's race. I, on the other hand, applaud them. It is nice to see law enforcement remember they're dealing with human beings and to have some compassion.

Movers, deputies refuse to evict 103-year-old woman

2011-11-28T08:17:00.004-05:00

I don't feel like writing an update but I don't particularly want my depressing last post to be what I see when loading this page, either, so here's something a little more cheerful (credit to Nigel Snell Photography ).

To the US government

2011-11-14T08:12:00.003-05:00

Fuck you. Fuck you and your black-hearted greed and lust for power. Because of your insatiable desire to be a world superpower my children's grandfather is waking up at 4AM every day in so much agony that he, a 60-something man's man, has tears streaming down his face, trying to cry quietly so he won't wake his wife up.

Everywhere on Friday you could see people spouting messages for our troops and veterans, thanking them for their service and their sacrifice.

Sacrifice for what? American dominance? The ability to continue sending more troops into more foreign nations to topple more foreign governments, so we can later return and topple the governments we helped establish when they become a thorn in our side?

This is a goal worthy of the sacrifice of the 10-20 years of marriage my mother-in-law might otherwise have had? The 10-20 years my husband could have had with his dad? The 10-20 years my children might have had with their beloved grandfather? He may not even live to see his fourth grandchild born.

I can't even muster the anger I'm feeling into coherent invective. I just wish that I could take the pain my father-in-law is feeling and give it to the people that used him in a war for power and dominance, the people that continue to use American lives to further these unworthy goals, instead of letting their citizens live their lives in relative peace.

And while billions are poured into these wars to topple foreign governments, hundreds of thousands spent on vacations for the First Lady, and retired members of congress earn average yearly pensions of $30-65k, what is offered to my mother-in-law for the stolen years of her husband's life? $7-14k a year and "treatment" for her husband's terminal cancer.

Thanks, fuckers.

(I realized this might not be very clear. My father-in-law served in Vietnam and has the cancer /other health issues associated with exposure to agent orange.)

American politics

2011-11-03T07:59:00.002-05:00

Vote for the lesser evil, because getting stabbed in one kidney is vastly preferable to getting stabbed in two kidneys!

It's nothing but a shell game. Almost every politician can be caught breaking the promises they made to their constituents shortly after getting into office, and flip-flopping repeatedly throughout their political career. The only thing they've demonstrated they really support is the political class and the government. Both parties want your money and your support, they just take different routes to get it. Both parties are ruining this country. Washington is a cesspool of corruption.

I will vote for Ron Paul, because he is one of the only politicians that has actually been consistent for decades, besides correctly identifying problems before they occurred (like the housing bubble). I don't think he will win, but I'm not giving my support to yet another lying slimy political snake.

ARGH

2011-10-10T09:50:00.003-05:00

I am getting very frustrated by a certain mindset I keep running up against amongst the Christian community - that it is our moral responsibility to legislate morality, and that Christians should be involved in politics to make sure the laws that get passed are informed by Christian morality.

I can't find anything in the Bible that supports this notion. Jesus sent his disciples out to preach the gospel, not to preach the Torah. And if the gospel was rejected, the disciples were told to shake the dust off their sandals and leave those that had rejected the gospel to their own devices, to be dealt with by God.

The early Christians were never encouraged to enter politics and try to make the heathen masses live like Christians. Instead, the Christians were encouraged to live like Christ so that more would be drawn to salvation. And we know that once people are washed in the blood of the Lamb, and the Holy Spirit dwells in their heart, they will begin to act like Christ in a real way, not in a faux way only done out of compliance with their country's legal system.

So, what is the point of trying to legislate Christian morality?

Edit: I wish to clarify that I am not, in any way, denigrating the laws in the Torah or living a moral life, simply pointing out that telling people they must live morally is not what brings them to salvation.

The West Memphis 3

2011-10-07T07:01:00.004-05:00

West Memphis Three - Wikipedia
Free the West Memphis Three
The West Memphis Three - TruTV Crime Library
The West Memphis Three Were Guilty (An opposing voice, for those of you that want to see what people are saying that still believe the men were guilty.)
Trial Transcripts (I have not yet read these, my knowledge of the trial relies on news articles and video clips from the trail in the documentary "The Child Murders at Robin Hood Hills: Paradise Lost")

If you prefer to take a look at other sources, there is a wealth of additional material available with a google search.

I first read about the Memphis 3 as a young woman and the case played a large part in finding myself forced to re-examine my notions of justice, the American justice system and God's view of justice as visible in the Torah.

I was appalled at what I read. The circumstantial evidence in the case was incredibly flimsy. The 'confession' from Jessie Misskelly raised enormous doubts about the capacity of the West Memphis police department to investigate such a case without bias and with a willingness to follow correct legal procedures and to uphold the laws regarding the rights of those under suspicion for a crime.

I will state my opinion here: even IF these boys were guilty (and I do not believe they were), they never should have been convicted based on the evidence brought to trial - they never even should have been brought to trial in the first place.

I don't need to go into overwhelming detail on this post, because the information is so thoroughly covered in the linked sites. Suffice to say that I had sympathy for Damien Echols, in particular, because I too was an 'outsider' as a teenager. I wore black, listened to bands like Metallica, Nine Inch Nails and Type O Negative, read horror novels from authors like Dean Koontz, and to top it off played Dungeons & Dragons and went to live-action role-playing games where I, and many other teenagers and young adults, pretended we were vampires.

Seeing Damien Echols in Paradise Lost years after I first learned of the case did little to diminish my sympathy for him, or diminish my outrage over the prosecution's successful efforts to paint him as a psychotic devil-worshiping cultist.

Damien Echols was an intelligent, egotistical teenager. He did seem to have a view of himself as the persecuted outsider, being targeted by 'the Man,' and he seemed to have a certain relish for that role. He was a smartass with an inappropriate sense of humor. I have no problem believing, after seeing footage of interviews, that Damien Echols got a kick out of telling outrageous lies in order to get people he had no respect for riled up. (He once told a youth leader at church that he could not accept a Bible, or accept Jesus and go to heaven, because he'd made a pact with the devil and was going to hell. That is -definitely- the sort of thing I can see several of my smartass, anti-establishment friends and acquaintances doing to someone in their younger years.)

He reminded me of myself. I felt like an outsider, so I embraced that role. Sought attention from that role. I felt as if people would not accept me and like me for who I was, but if they would not accept me and like me, they could at least notice me and make me feel like more of a real person and less of an uncertain shadow. I collected 'scandalous' trivia about S&M sexual practices, not because I found the lifestyle attractive (though dominatrix outfits were pretty awesome) but because I was secretly pleased at the thought of what kind of reaction people might have when this skinny blonde girl in glasses used terminology belonging to a fetishistic, underground sexual scene.

I also found it telling that at one point in an interview, Damien is asked about a particularly gruesome rumor going around - the person speaking to him describes the rumor in very blunt terms. When Damien responds, he halts, and cannot actually use the same blunt terminology - he has to rephrase what he is about to say to something less crass and grotesque. I suppose some people might see that as some kind of mark of remorse or state of denial, but I saw it as the mark of a boy far less tough than he wanted to appear, whose mind could dwell on theoretical violence but was too tender for real violence.

And then there is Jason Baldwin. They had plenty with which to paint Damien Echols as a terrifying psychopath participating in evil religious rituals, but there was nothing to point to in Baldwin's case that made it remotely possible to link him with interest and pursuit of dark occultic power. Unlike Damien, there were no outrageous statements, no doodles, no books by people like Aleister Crowley on his reading list - no time spent under psychiatric evaluation. What on earth made them think it was probable that this teenager would help his friend rape, torture, beat and murder three eight year old boys, just because he happened to like heavy metal music, wearing black, and reading horror novels? Yes, I understand anything is possible, but that does not make it probable.

Jessie Misskelley, the person who 'confessed' and pinned the blame on Echols and Baldwin was not a bright boy. He never really appeared to have a good sense of what was going on and what it meant for his long-term future. They had to tell him to keep his head down in court - more than likely because he clearly did not take what was happening seriously, and his occasional burst of cheer and good humor would not have been taken well in the courtroom, where no doubt the jury would have seen it as callous indifference, rather than incapacity to fully understand his situation beyond the present moment.

These boys had their lives stolen from them. Even with the supporters they garnered over the years, they'll never be able to have a 'normal' life, and there will always be people that believe they were guilty of these heinous crimes, and there will always be people that have a kernel of doubt and wonder if maybe they really were guilty. Damien Echols' newborn son had to grow up without his father, but with his father's reputation hanging over his head. And the rest of the family members of Echols, Baldwin and Misskelley had to deal with this situation as well - the loss of a loved family member to the prison system, and the reputation (in the case of the parents) for having raised heinous, psychopathic sons.

This is wrong. This is a gross miscarriage of justice. This is every bit as wrong and evil as the crime that took the lives of three eight year old boys.

What saddens me the most about this whole sordid tale is the fact that people claiming to be followers of Jesus helped put these boys behind bars, and it took the attention of Hollywood celebrities and famous musicians to draw attention to the plight of these boys and help point out this gross miscarriage of justice.

Where were the conservative Christian voices speaking out against this travesty? Why is it that so many in the Christian community seem to gloss over the fact that God's own laws placed higher priority on preventing the shedding of innocent blood than on punishing the guilty? Religious fear and superstition combined with the flimsiest of circumstantial evidence led to two young men being sentenced to life in prison and a third young man being placed on death row. This is something that Christians should be ASHAMED of. This is not something Christians should support, or call 'justice.' Just because someone reads books about religions antithetical to Christianity and behaves foolishly in their social interactions does not mean they are the kind of monster that kills little children. Superstitious fear of 'satanists' should not lead to wrongful conviction for heinous crimes.

Update on the spawnling

2011-10-04T11:44:00.002-05:00

Had my first visit with the midwife today; the initial estimate is 14 weeks but they're going to schedule a sonogram to try and verify that. The baby's heartbeat was strong and normal, which was very encouraging! Also encouraging is the fact that my miscarriages did not place me into a high risk category that would require I deliver at a hospital instead of the birth center.

So that placed me in a much better mood in which to deal with having to appear before the magistrate yet again this afternoon for an overgrown lawn violation. The truly sad thing is that we had been trying (successfully) to keep our lawn tamed this year, but between the pregnancy sickness and my husband's issue with his ear, neither of us had managed to get out there and do something about the lawn in September, and we've been getting regular rain much later than usual this year which has kept the weeds growing. Friday morning I finally felt well enough to try tackling the lawn, and Friday afternoon received the certified letter ordering us to appear before the magistrate on Tuesday. And because we're 'repeat offenders' they no longer have to give us a warning letter first.

Oh well. Hopefully next year we'll manage to keep them off our back.

Blogger problems?

2011-10-01T09:27:00.003-05:00

I don't know if anyone else has been having this problem, but while if I hit the sign in button it will take me to my dashboard, on my blog itself it will not show that I am signed in or show me the quick editing buttons. I think it may be interfering with my ability to comment on other blogs that have blogger comments enabled, too. Phooey.

Update: Billiam, I think it might just be your blog I'm unable to comment on - I tested my ability to comment on someone else's blog that had blogger comments enabled, and it went through. The only difference is that they had word verification enabled. When I visit your blog and submit the comment it just appears to vanish into the aether.

Grateful

2011-09-28T07:05:00.002-05:00

My husband had his final ear test and it did uncover the problem. (So, no more worry that it might be the beginning stages of a neurological disorder.) It turns out one of his ears is sending signals to his brain faster than the other ear, and his brain is reacting to those first signals before receiving the signals from the second ear, thus causing the vertigo, dizziness and balance issues he'd been experiencing on and off. The other good news is that it is treatable through therapy and doesn't require medication.

Thank you for your prayers, they are appreciated.

Sobering

2011-09-14T12:07:00.002-05:00

After a few delays my husband finally made it in to see an ENT specialist. He has been informed that it is nothing mundane - no infection or anything like that. His hearing is fine. He will have to undergo a procedure that will let them inspect the condition of his inner ear. If that inspection doesn't turn up anything, they will be referring him to a neurological specialist.

I'm not going to give in to stress over this. Even if this ends up resulting in bad news, both he and I know that God will give us the strength to go through any trial ahead.

I'm hoping it'll turn out to be something the matter with his ear, though.

Revelations

2011-09-06T08:38:00.002-05:00

Not the impressive, earth-shattering variety, though.

So for some reason early this morning instead of letting me sleep my brain wanted to be awake and active and thinking about entirely unimportant matters. Thanks, brain. What were these unimportant matters? What it is, exactly, that draws me to people. What most often generates interest in another human being and makes me wish I were their friend?

Two things:

They need to be smart.
They need to be a smartass.

I'm married to someone that fits this description. A large chunk of my family fits this description (ALL of my siblings fit this description). Many of the friends I've had over the years fit this description. My favorite forum posters and bloggers generally fit this description. Heidi, Professor Hale, Res Ipsa, JQP, Vidad, etc. etc. are all very different people, with very different writing styles, but they all share the traits of being smart and a smartass. (Even if they don't tend to apply these labels to themselves!) Even Wes, whose writing somehow makes me think of an elderly Southern lawyer, fits this description! Now, I do have a few people whose company I enjoy, or whose blog I like to read, that I wouldn't really apply the description of smartass to, but they are definitely in the minority.

2011-08-16T13:47:00.003-05:00

Trying not to freak out, but my husband just called from work to say they were calling an ambulance for him after he had a bout of severe vertigo and almost fell, followed by an abnormal feeling when he breathes. If any of you wander by here today, please pray for him.

Well... thankfully the MRI, x-ray and EKG all came back normal. The doctor told him he had "vertigo" which is essentially the same thing as telling someone "you have a headache." It doesn't say anything about what the underlying cause could be. They suspect it might be some kind of problem with his inner ear and he is supposed to see an ear & throat specialist in a couple of days.

School Daze

2011-08-03T13:18:00.002-05:00

Thankfully, my husband agreed to another year of home-schooling, with the agreement in place that we would review each year and decide if home schooling was still the best option or not.

Now, of course, I've returned to that state of feeling almost helplessly adrift, trying to pick appropriate curriculum for the shortly arriving school year. Adding to the stew is guilt over being late in this chore, even though being laid out with pregnancy sickness is a legitimate reason for not getting things done on time. On top of that, the house is a horrible, terrible mess (not just filled with clutter, but actual dirt at this point) and I haven't been able to tackle it for the same reason. At least I know the school work is (theoretically) something I can handle even with being sick, since I can always set him up with a little desk next to my bed so I can teach and rest at the same time.

Gah. If only I were someone to whom organization and cleaning came naturally... so many things to do, and all I want to do is hide under the covers and hope it all goes away!

2011-08-02T07:39:00.002-05:00

If all goes well (and I'm certainly praying it does!) it looks like my husband and I will be raising four children come next Spring. So far this pregnancy is resembling my successful previous pregnancies and not the miscarriages, which I take as a positive sign. Don't be surprised if I am not around that much for the next month or two though, since I'm spending a lot of my time lying down and reading thanks to the pregnancy sickness (I can't even call it morning sickness, because it lasts all day for me).

Into the wild blue yonder again...

2011-07-10T07:27:00.001-05:00

Okay, I'm actually just visiting family in TN and MO for a couple of weeks. Looking forward to it, though!

Discerning the true Christians

2011-06-29T09:19:00.002-05:00

Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So then, you will know them by their fruits.

<<<>>>

Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

<<<>>>

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

(Jesus - Matthew 7; Paul - Galatians 5; Paul - 1 Corinthians 13)

Head, meet desk

2011-06-28T11:04:00.004-05:00

Why... why can't people understand that political activism to "save" marriage is simply treating one of the more obvious symptoms of a disease that is in the last stages, and that will shortly bring about death unless a miracle occurs?

I am so tired of Christians that speak of political activism as if it is the way to "save" America, but that refuse to answer when asked where in the New Testament - in the words of Jesus or in the writings of the apostles - we find ourselves commanded to participate in political activism, or even encouraged to do so in any way, shape, or form. What does it matter if you can convince people to support your stance on marriage when those people will return home to lives filled with gluttony, lust, fornication, slander, gossip, pride, greed, jealousy, hatred, and all the other myriad sins of fallen man?

What does it matter if so-called Christians "speak up" about their political views, engage in political activism, vote their conscience, etc. etc. when these so-called Christians can't even be bothered to apply the first and second commandments to their own lives?

What does it matter if people experience greater personal freedom and happier earthly lives living in so-called Christian democracies if their hearts remain dark and their eternal soul remains in jeopardy? What kind of priorities do we have when we make people's physical freedom take precedence over their eternal salvation? Why would we want to help craft a nation of whited sepulchers?

If American Christians would put even 1/10 of the energy they spend on American politics into loving God, loving their neighbors, and loving their fellow Christians, we would already see this nation changing for the better.

Edit: I really need to clarify something here - I believe God does call certain people into the political sphere, but not as a means to change human laws to suit their liking, but as a means to reach the lost hearts of those they will come in contact with. Take Justine, for instance. It won't be her excellent, persuasive rhetorical abilities that will change lives, it will be the way the love of God just shines out of her, making her a beacon on a dark, rocky coast.

You can't change a person's heart by modifying their outward behavior, and the same is true of nations.

Water is wet!

2011-06-23T11:32:00.002-05:00

And blogger ate my link.

Here it is again.

True religion

2011-06-21T14:15:00.002-05:00

This is a man doing God's work. It's heart-breaking that bureaucrats would try to put a stop to what he is doing. If God puts it on your heart to do so, pray for him, his wife and the children in his care.

2011-06-20T08:12:00.003-05:00

I wanted to post something but this whole A/C not working properly thing has left me too warm and fuzzy brained for coherent writing. Blegh Florida. Blegh.

2011-06-08T18:15:00.002-05:00

I am feeling a little sick now.

That's...

SCIENCE!

2011-06-06T09:22:00.004-05:00

An icon of the Southern United States: oak trees festooned with Spanish moss. These trees are located in Deleon Springs State Park, north of Orlando.

Moving things around

2011-06-03T09:50:00.002-05:00

Seeing as how many of the bloggers I read are as unreliable about updating as I am, leaving me moving people back and forth between the "infrequently updated" list or the "favorites" list, I decided I'd just alter how I organized the categories. Now anyone that has posted at least once in 2011 is in Favorites; anyone that has not posted since 2010 or before is in Archives / On Hiatus.

Maybe instead I should have made the categories "Prolific" "Intermittent" and "Unreliable" ;)

The Professor drops in for a brief visit...

2011-06-02T09:28:00.002-05:00

The key point of Calvinism is that God is Sovereign. You either believe that or you don't. There can be no middle ground. A sovereign God can do whatever He wills. This then is falsely stretched by some Calvinists into the idea that God is choosing to do everything and nothing is getting done without his direction.
-Professor Hale

I would probably take less issue with Calvinism if any Calvinist I'd run across previously had drawn the distinction between what God -can- do versus what God -may- do. Up until now, I had only run across the variety that seem to view God as a micro-managing puppet master (many have even openly espoused this view, rather than simply implying it). No doubt there are other points of Calvinism that the Professor and I would disagree with, but on this particular facet I have no quarrel.

Violence and Oppression

2011-06-01T07:30:00.003-05:00

I admit, Vox is measurably more intelligent than I am, as well as being much more well-read and more informed about world history than I am. I'm aware I might just be an idiot that doesn't truly understand the situation as described. But here he reaches a conclusion that I find to be very erroneous and indeed, filled with wishful thinking.

This is what I posted in the comments on the post in question:

As it happens, I found this quote on Giraffe's blog and thought it pertinent to this discussion:

"And how we burned in the camps later, thinking: What would things have been like if every Security operative, when he went out at night to make an arrest, had been uncertain whether he would return alive and had to say good-bye to his family? Or if, during periods of mass arrests, as for example in Leningrad, when they arrested a quarter of the entire city, people had not simply sat there in their lairs, paling with terror at every bang of the downstairs door and at every step on the staircase, but had understood they had nothing left to lose and had boldly set up in the downstairs hall an ambush of half a dozen people with axes, hammers, pokers, or whatever else was at hand?... The Organs would very quickly have suffered a shortage of officers and transport and, notwithstanding all of Stalin's thirst, the cursed machine would have ground to a halt! If...if...We didn't love freedom enough. And even more – we had no awareness of the real situation.... We purely and simply deserved everything that happened afterward."
— Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

This, and other historical incidents, are why I find it unlikely that the cop killing in question - or indeed, many if any of the others - are occurring because ordinary citizens have been pressed past their limit and are now willing to murder police officers in cold blood. Even when faced with situations in which such violence would be extremely beneficial, most people simply do not have the necessary gumption and capability for violence needed, let alone the gumption and capability to strike down their oppressors in cold blood in an anonymous ambush. They don't defend themselves from the criminals, why would they suddenly start defending themselves from the police? How many people victimized by criminals turn into vigilantes? As far as I am aware, there are still more victims of the common criminal thug than of the common police thug.

I don't -like- this conclusion. I wish more people were willing to defend themselves from criminals, whether the criminals wear badges or not. But I believe it is far more common to find that people will submit to violent oppression out of fear, rather than rise up against it and strike back. The people alive today in our nation have not had to work hard for their very survival - they have not suffered greatly - they have not gone through any sort of crucible to forge them into warriors with spines, rather than craven cowards that would rather hide from oppression or ignore it than strike out against it. I've read through some of the compiled wrongful deaths at the hands of SWAT teams, and nowhere did I find a follow-up story describing how the police officers involved in the wrongful death were killed under mysterious circumstances later. Most were described as being alive and well and having suffered few if any negative consequences. The worst that ever happened was the team being disbanded and various cities being forced to pay large sums to the family of the deceased victim.

I believe - unfortunately - that only a very few individuals here will ever strike back against increased police lawlessness.

Something I didn't say in my comment, but which occurred to me later, is that most people - even when put through a crucible of suffering or struggle for survival, still do not become transformed into warriors with spines. Recorded history seems to suggest that the majority of humanity will submit to violent oppression at levels that far exceed anything we've seen here from corrupt law enforcement and politicians.

Dreams

2011-05-21T07:39:00.002-05:00

Last night I managed to kill an animal (what kind of animal? And how, pray tell, did I kill it, dream? Mind bullets?) but then was confronted by the fact that I needed to skin and butcher it, and all I had was a little vegetable paring knife. And of course, not being as awesome as my mom, who has a long history of awesomeness, I was also concerned over how I was going to skin and butcher something without fainting or getting sick over all the blood involved. Luckily my brain gave me this dilemma to ponder but never actually got down to the business of butchery.

And hey, while carrying around the dead animal, I got to hang out with my sister Joelle, and if I can't see her in person very often, being able to hang out with her in my subconscious is still fun. She and I share the ability to have vivid, intricate dreams. I love dreams, because they are a brush with the mysterious and the uncontrollable and are reliably poorly understood by the scientific community. And I take pleasure in the fact that after having read that it is impossible to read in a dream, my mind set out to prove otherwise, providing not one, but two dreams that had text I could see and understand. I don't remember the latter, but the first had the word ABORT written on the marquee of a theatre that had been converted to an abortion clinic, in a chilling future in which abortion was not only highly encouraged but also considered a form of recreation.

I've experienced a wide variety of dream tropes, from flying to falling to trying to run with legs that have become leaden, or finding that I'm missing pants. I've shot someone point-blank with a shotgun and missed (my subconscious refuses to make me proficient with anything I'm not proficient at in reality). I've been myself, I've been myself as a man, I've been women or men completely unknown to me living out lives that have nothing to do with mine. I've loved, I've lost. I've been on the run from tornadoes or other disasters. I also dream in color, and have seen verdant fields that practically glow, outstripping even Ireland for their emerald hues. I've had horrific dreams which I was grateful to wake up from, and dreams so pleasant that to wake was loss. I've had dreams so embarrassing or disgusting that they will never be shared with anyone, ever, lest that person afterward start looking at me askance, wondering just what monstrous depravity hides in my subconscious. I've killed myself (a broken fluorescent light bulb stabbed into my heart) because I knew it would make me respawn somewhere else and enable me to escape the things hunting me.

I had a dream once, as a child, an innocuous one where I was walking through the woods at night, holding something in my hand, with a friend on either side, only to experience exactly that later while camping. Since then, many times, I have experienced a strong sense of deja vu and had the feeling that what I'm doing is something I've done before in a dimly remembered dream - and not common things that anyone could do in reality, then dream about, then do in reality ad infinitum with nothing strange about it - the latest time I experienced that feeling of having dreamed the reality before the reality occurred was when we went blueberry picking, something I had never done before. Adding to the oddness was the fact that after I mentioned my sense of deja vu, my husband said he was also having a sense of deja vu. And yes, I do understand that the feeling you've dreamed something before is not the same as actually being able to say 'I've dreamed this' - but I do like the mysterious feeling of deja vu.

I think that's enough rambling for now. I feel the need for coffee.

Lacking

2011-05-12T06:45:00.000-05:00

My previous post was sparked by a post sparked by a discussion on Calvinism, apparently, and the Calvinist view of God as a micro-managing puppet master. Honestly, the more I see and read about the Calvinist perspective, the more it horrifies me. It causes this little shiver deep down in my soul. Pondering this, I realized why it causes this reaction...

Calvinism is completely devoid of faith, hope or love.

(Edit: For the sake of clarity, and lest I cause offense unintentionally, I see the teachings as devoid of these three things, but do not extend that devoid state to everyone that believes the teachings.)

Hmmm

2011-05-11T06:31:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure how someone can read the Bible and come up with the idea that God can (and probably does) lie.

Now, it's true that the ten commandments do not say 'thou shalt not lie' but rather 'thou shalt not bear false witness.' But it seems to me that trying to establish a difference between lying and false witness is a matter of splitting hairs.

It seems to be a notion at odds with Satan having been crowned the 'Prince of Lies' and with God hating false witnesses and all. And is there any passage at all, marked as a statement of God, that we can point to and say 'this was a lie?' Both Psalms and Proverbs use the term 'lying lips' in a very negative context, and in Proverbs 12, where the wicked and the upright are contrasted, we find the following: "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal faithfully are His delight." It seems odd that a trait specifically ascribed to the wicked should be one which the Lord possesses.

It also seems odd considering that in the (only?) instance recorded in which someone was struck down by God in the New Testament, it was for attempting to lie to the Holy Spirit. Everywhere in the Bible we see truthfulness extolled and falsehood and deceit condemned. Would God condemn His own actions? Are not His commands intended to show us His divine nature, and our own fallen nature; to reveal how sinful and far from perfection we really are?

I'm sorry, one can claim logic all one wants, but there's really no reasonable basis on which to base a belief that God lies.

Praise God

2011-05-10T12:43:00.003-05:00

From whom all blessings flow! My husband starts his new job at the end of the month, and will be starting at the same salary he started with in his present employment. Which means he takes a pay cut but we're still quite comfortable financially. It'll knock about 40 minutes worth of driving out of his day, a good thing with the current price of gas. He'll no longer be working in a field of employment so stressful that it's sent him to a doctor for two different stress-related medical conditions. He'll no longer have to spend large chunks of time with the worst humanity has to offer. He's happier and more peaceful than I've seen him in years.

Thank you, God, thank you!

And thank you, all of you that took the time to offer a prayer on our behalf.

Amazing Grace

2011-05-08T15:14:00.003-05:00

There will always be a kernel of sorrow in my heart over the knowledge that my children have died inside me and that there was nothing I could do to save them. Seeing pictures of babies in their first year of life may cause me to need to wipe my eyes for the next little while, because my hands and breast will never be able to welcome the two little ones that are lost to me.

But this grief is just a trickle in an overwhelming river of peace, the peace that passes all understanding. I am in awe that my God loves me - loves me - enough to give me solace in sorrow, and in truth this knowledge brings more tears than does the sorrow. As a psalmist once said "what is man, that You take knowledge of him? Or the son of man, that you think of him?"

I am nothing and I have done nothing to deserve this kindness. My good qualities were first honed by my parents, and after that, God Himself took on the task of molding this stubborn clay. I've seen the darkness in my human heart and I've knowingly and willfully embraced it. I've run from the knowledge of what He wants me to do and what He does not want me to do. My heart has been hard.

And yet He continues to shape me into a vessel for His service, and He treats me as His child, and comforts me and shelters me from the worst of the storms.

I am in awe that God loves me.

More ranting, different topic

2011-05-06T12:33:00.003-05:00

So, after the miscarriage, things still seemed wonky, so I finally broke down and scheduled a visit to the doctor. As my husband said, doing so would at least give us a chance to rule out anything serious and give us a baseline on my general state of health.

Well, the tests brought a surprise - I'm pregnant again. That was unexpected, as I'd taken a test just a couple of weeks prior to the doctor's visit and it had given me a negative result (apparently I got the 1% inaccuracy rate). I was happy, of course, as both my husband and I still want more children.

Because there were indications that the pregnancy might be at risk, they wanted me to get an ultrasound. Unfortunately, the results were not good - I was at least seven weeks pregnant (indicating I'd been pregnant since not long after the original miscarriage), they could not find the baby's heartbeat, and the radiologist said the pregnancy did not look 'normal' - whatever that means, as they did not elaborate, but simply sent me home to rest and told me that if the ultrasound reading was correct, there was nothing they could do to prevent the termination of the pregnancy. So, joy had turned to ashes, but I had just been reading Job recently, and what he said had stuck with me - shall we accept blessings but not adversity? So, while naturally I am not pleased with this outcome, I am in a state of peace granted by the Comforter.

Enter the medical system, that wants to destroy peace and invoke fear in its place. Yesterday, I received a call from a nurse at the doctor's office, telling me she'd set up an appointment with a gynecologist. Not so much as a 'by-your-leave' or 'would you like to do this, and if so will this time work for you?' And to add injury to the insult, it was a male gynecologist. Nope, nuh uh, no way. My husband is the only man to have ever been given access to that area, and it's going to stay that way if I have anything to say about it! So, I told the nurse I was not comfortable with a male obgyn, and she said she would see what she could do about it. Apparently, that meant leaving the appointment on the books and assuming I'd show up for it. So, today, the original doctor (a general practitioner) calls, wondering why I hadn't gone to the gynecologist. So I explained why.

Oh, but this was an emergency! Surely I could make an exception...

Really? That's funny, I didn't think a miscarriage was an emergency - so I asked for clarification. Was there any indication this was an emergency? Was it an ectopic pregnancy? At which point she had to admit that no, it was not ectopic, and it was a visit to check on me in case it became an emergency situation later. I told her - firmly - as soon as I could get a word in edge-wise (because my goodness, that woman can talk!) that I understood the risks, that I preferred to go through this with my family, and not in a doctor's office, since there was nothing they could do to save my baby if the pregnancy had terminated or was in the process of terminating. (Which though she hemmed and hawed, she had to admit was true, because it is so early in the pregnancy.) I explained - politely, but very firmly, that it is my body, my pregnancy, and my choice as to how I handle the situation. All of which she had to concede to, but not without first attempting to guilt me by reminding me of the possible risks, and then to remind me I had other children to think of. (My husband had flames coming off of his face, as this was all on speaker phone, but we were both remarkably calm even so.)

I remained calm, and polite, and would not budge an inch from my stance. My husband and I had discussed this already and he supported my decision. My husband and I would seek emergency care if it became necessary (and yes, I understood the emergency care might have to come from a male doctor - obviously my choices would be limited in an emergency, but it was not an emergency as of yet). So, sounding resigned about consigning me to my inevitable sad fate as a stubborn, clueless individual with no sense of self-preservation (this was not said, but some things you can guess from the tone of voice) she finally gave up. Phew.

That right there is why I hate the medical system. Oh, I don't hate the people. A few are arrogant scumbags, but most are just institutionalized into believing whatever they're fed without question. They buy into the fear, and they push the fear, and they think you're wrong if you don't feel the same fear and make your decisions based on it.

Sorry, but I'm aware that driving five minutes down the road to Wal*Mart carries greater statistical risk than a non-ectopic miscarriage. I'm not making my decisions based on fear of what-ifs. My life is in my Father's hands, and those are the very best hands it could possibly be in. Yes, I'll admit, I do fear leaving my children, just as I have to admit God can see them raised to adulthood just fine without me. It's pride to think my children's future would be ruined without me.

I also have to admit I would be irked if complications arose, because I don't want her to get to say "I told you so!"

Extrapolation

2011-05-04T07:04:00.002-05:00

I'm still chafed about the notion that if I have a greater affinity with the justice in God's nature than with the mercy in His nature that I am a lesser Christian, and that if I - and the other Christians like me - could learn to love mercy above all else, everyone might be saved.

Some people like to speak of forgiveness. Compassion. Mercy. Example of X Christian that converted from a life of murderous depravity that now devotes their time to serving the Kingdom in a mighty way. Example of X Christian that converted others through their overwhelming sweetness and light in the face of adversity. Jesus died so that others might be saved, how can we do any less?

People had Jesus performing miracles right in front of their eyes, and still they rejected him. He healed lepers, the lame, the crippled, the blind, the deaf, the diseased, the demon-possessed. He raised the dead to life. He offered forgiveness for sins. And still they rejected him.

When he sent the apostles out to spread word that the Kingdom of God was near, He did not tell them to remain in cities that rejected them, to plead with them over and over until finally they were swayed to repentance - he told them to shake the dust from their sandals and move on.

Nowhere did he promise that his death had annulled the need for justice. Nowhere did he promise that all would be saved (even though we know this is what God desires). Nowhere did he promise each man 75+ years in which to repent, no matter what depraved acts were committed in the meantime.

In Matthew 18, we find that if our brother wrongs us, we are to first speak to him privately, then bring witnesses, then take the matter before the church, and if he still refuses to repent of the wrong he has done, then he is to become as one we have no fellowship with.

Also in Matthew 18, we are told to forgive our brother seventy-times-seven. Yet the parable that follows speaks of forgiving those that ask for mercy. It does not say that the servant went to his fellow servant, and his fellow servant spit in his face and said "I ain't gonna pay!"

Now, someone spoke of death as being the end to our chances to repent, and thus we should never prematurely end someone's chance to repent. Even if I believed that death was truly the end of our chances, how does it follow that we should give a murderer all the chances in the world, when he might go on to murder others that have not yet repented? Why give one man 75 years in which to repent, when he uses those 75 years to send hundreds - perhaps even thousands - that had not yet repented to hell?

Someone that has shown they are willing to end another human life out of malice, greed, passion or selfishness does not have their ability to do harm stopped by being put behind bars. Prison guards have been murdered. Other prisoners have been murdered. There have even been instances of someone serving life in prison planning murders and having them carried out by free colleagues. Why should all of these people continue to be at risk, just because the murderer *might* use the extra time to truly repent, instead of continuing in their evil ways?

Is that really what mercy should look like?

2011-05-02T12:15:00.002-05:00

While pondering my earlier post and the Facebook discussions that sparked it, I came to a realization - for all that these people are pushing mercy and compassion, and seemingly claiming that the need for justice has been done away with by Christ's death on the cross, what they do not understand is that if you make justice cease to exist, then mercy ceases to exist with it. Why does anyone need forgiveness for sins when sin will not be punished? Earthly justice foreshadows heavenly justice. People don't understand why mercy is a priceless, undeserved gift unless they first understand that their actions merit punishment and not mercy.

Mercy cannot exist without justice.

2011-05-02T10:14:00.003-05:00

I'm getting annoyed. I don't care that Bin Laden is dead. I felt nothing - no emotion whatsoever - when I heard that he was dead. I am skeptical of the whole situation, but that's not really important to this post.

So, apparently there are multiple reactions from Christians about this, and one is to rejoice that justice has been done, and another is to say that we should not rejoice over the death of a sinner. This latter crowd is getting on my nerves, because they're making it clear that if you've rejoiced, or if you're not saddened, or if you support executing murderers at all, that you're a bad Christian that doesn't truly understand the heart of Jesus. One woman even went so far as to say that instead of killing the bad guy, we should choose to sacrifice our own life in order that it might save them...

Okay. First of all, Someone already made that sacrifice to save them - and that sacrifice, which was freely offered, was freely rejected. Unless you subscribe to the theory that all will be saved, then you have to admit that some will not, no matter what nice things are done for them or what kind of forgiveness and love is extended to them.

Secondly, it's all very well to speak of sacrificing your own life, but when it comes to allowing murderers to live, you're not sacrificing your own life, you're sacrificing someone else's life. The staff in the prisons, the other inmates in the prisons, even people outside of the prisons - all of these people are in danger from someone that has proven they are willing to end a human life out of malice, passion or selfishness.

Paul is one example they're trotting out of someone that was the author of wicked things but that was saved and went on to work mightily for the Lord. What they seem to be ignoring is the fact that Paul himself wrote that God gave governments the responsibility to punish evildoers. That when they do so, they are acting as His agents.

At the top

2011-04-30T08:23:00.003-05:00

Life has sometimes been described as a roller coaster. Well, at this moment in time, my husband and I might be sitting at the top, hovering for a few seconds while the anticipation and fear build before rushing down with our hearts in our throats.

Maybe it's a good thing, for my husband's sake, that I'm not the kind of woman that pins her hopes on a safe and secure life; that I don't fret and worry about living comfortably. Because if I were that kind of woman, I might not now be encouraging him to quit his job, regardless of whether or not he has a new one lined up.

Oh, some people would probably look down on me for that. Think I'm foolish and irresponsible. Wrong. Naive. Ungrateful, even, for suggesting that my husband become unemployed at a time like this, when so many people want employment and can't find it. And what about the children?!

Oh well!

When my husband says that for the first time in his life, he feels as if his job is endangering his soul, and that he needs to get out - and speaks in a manner that suggests his moral fortitude and integrity are under assault, and that he's standing on the line and wavering - well, that sounds like he's being given a warning - that he's being told it's time to find another road to walk on. But he was still vacillating - no responsible man with a wife and children he loves wants to set aside the job that is providing their food, clothing and shelter if he can help it. So he would speak of getting out, but then speak of the possibility for promotion and how that might make things easier, or speak of how maybe this wasn't a warning, and was instead just his own reaction to stress.

But this last week two of the people in his chain of command decided he'd done something wrong, that he'd stepped out of line, and punished him for it - without even asking for his side of the story, and claiming that his report of the incident in question was bullshit, despite two other coworkers verifying what had happened. The two supervisors never even spoke to him, directly - he learned this from the person that had until this incident been part of his chain of command as well, and whom he has worked with before. This person managed to deflect and alleviate the worst that could have happened, convincing them to make the punishment assigning my husband to a less desirable duty elsewhere - but he made it clear that my husband's career was more than likely over. It's unlikely my husband would get fired, because it's a job that is difficult to get fired from unless a person does something truly egregious (or ends up on the news), but it was unlikely there would ever be a chance for promotion as long as the chain of command remains what it is.

So, as far as I'm concerned, that's the sign right there. That's the roadblock saying "find another route." He's supposed to get an answer soon (hopefully next week), one way or another, about the position he applied for, that would get him out of his current position and entail only a minor pay cut in the process. If he gets it, life goes on much the same as before as far as finances go - we'll still be able to pay our bills and save money, and my husband gets to do something he wants to do that should have a lot less stress involved. The roller coaster never tips over the edge.

If he does not get the position...

Is there something wrong with me, that I'm actually excited by the possibility that he won't get this job? That we'll be standing at a crossroads that has grown from two intersecting highways to a tangle of roads and overpasses and underpasses and railroads and sidewalks and runways, with no map to make any sense of it?

We have three children, and we would like more, God-willing. Our current savings won't go very far in today's economy. I'm in poor health, awaiting lab results to find out if it's something serious, or just something that will require time and effort on my part to correct. We might lose our insurance. We might end up on welfare (again). I might have to go back to work, alternating schedules with my husband so that one of us can always be home with the children. We might lose our house and our excellent credit rating. We might end up in the "bad part of town" where my husband runs the risk of running into unsavory people that remember his face and that hate him.

And yet, I'm calm because I know God can get us through anything, and that if we're living in a tent in the woods and scrounging food from dumpsters (that's not likely to happen, but my brain does like to produce worst-case scenarios), He'd still be there with us, fulfilling what Jesus said, that He will clothe us and feed us. Seek My kingdom first, and all these things will be taken care of.

There is, in fact, deep down, a tiny part of me that is giddy with the possibility of shaking off our comfortable almost-middle-class existence. Maybe, maybe, it says, we could finally escape Florida! Anything is possible! And then it's answered by another part of me that says, dourly, that maybe we would actually end up living with his parents and my husband would be miserable and everything would be strained and bleak and unhappy and I'd feel more trapped than ever before...

Oh well!

There are times, even when I'm thanking God for the fountain of blessings in my life, that I've wondered if this comfortable life wasn't a form of bondage, keeping us distracted from the truly important things in life, and inhibiting our growth, spiritually, rather than aiding it. So I can't really truly fear change and the possibility of very difficult times ahead, because I know those are the times when God can really polish our spirits into something beautiful reflecting His glory.

2011-04-28T13:30:00.002-05:00

Somewhere out there is a mother whose head I would like to slam, over and over, into the concrete until it split like a melon, while screaming "what the fuck were you thinking, you narcissistic, stupid cunt?!"

She deserves the profanity, and a whole lot more. I won't go into the sordid reasons why, but my younger sister and her husband (the mother in question is his ex-wife) are currently going to court to attempt to restrict her access to her eight-year-old daughter, who has become my sister's step-daughter and my niece by marriage. Please, please pray that Father would intercede on their behalf and that the courts would decide in favor of my sister and her husband, and that my niece would be rescued from the hands of a woman that obviously has not the least idea of what love really is.

2011-04-22T23:42:00.002-05:00

I admit, I don't spend a lot of time studying people's efforts to disprove the existence of God, so don't be too shocked that this was the first time I recall seeing this quote - on a motivational-style poster titled "Atheists, winning since 33 A.D.":

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? - Epicurus

Gasp! Oh no, you've disproved the existence of a good God! Atheists have won and religious folk have just had their head buried in the sand for 2000 years!

Oh wait, there's this little thing called free will... I don't know if Epicurus was familiar with the Torah or the prophets or the Gospel, but the only way someone could think this quote is a sign of atheists winning is if they know nothing about Christian teachings.

2011-04-19T12:35:00.003-05:00

I've been going through another dry spell as far as writing goes. The inspiration just isn't there. However, I've discovered that even with my incredibly crappy skill, point & shoot digital cameras can produce some very nice pictures. So I've started stopping to take pictures of some of the pretty spots I pass driving through rural Florida on my way to visit my husband's parents. Unfortunately, my camera is old and slowly dying, so most of the pictures I've been taking have ended up out-of-focus. This inspired me to take a look at new digital cameras, where I found one on sale for $80, down from $120, which has 14.1 megapixels to my current camera's 5.1 (apparently the minimum now is 10). So, I splurged and ordered it, and it should be here this week. I'm so excited! (I know, I know - everyone's an amateur photographer now.)

This is a picture of the pretty roses that bloomed in my backyard a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, they met a cruel end when our rotten dog slipped her collar (again) and decided they looked like a tasty snack.

Okay, facebook is not so bad after all

2011-04-01T20:07:00.002-05:00

My sister Jo just found a friend of ours that we lost touch with a decade ago, and whom we'd been trying (unsuccessfully) to find a way to contact for years. She was as happy to hear from us as we were to find her, and said she'd been trying (also unsuccessfully) to get back in touch with us. This has made my day!

2011-03-18T20:36:00.003-05:00

(This is one of those navel-gazing posts that are probably boring to read, feel free to wander on to something more interesting.)

Just prior to the pregnancy that ended with a miscarriage, I diagnosed myself with a hormone imbalance. Yes, diagnosed myself (with the help of the internet, no less, clearly I must be insane). I was researching what might have caused a particular problem and stumbled on a list of symptoms associated with hormone imbalance and was astounded to find much of the list matched changes that had taken place in my body over the last year or two - things I had not thought might have a common, fixable origin, but had simply (and naively) chalked up to approaching age 30.

Of course, while I'm reasonably confident that I've correctly diagnosed the imbalance, the underlying cause of the imbalance could be from several different things. I could seek professional testing and diagnosis, but frankly, I've never found the medical community to be as trustworthy and knowledgeable as they portray themselves to be.* Besides being hard to diagnose with accuracy, conditions that cause hormone imbalance are usually treated with prescription drugs (something I'm not willing to utilize) or rest, improved diet and exercise.

So rest, improved diet and exercise it is. It seems my top vices (gluttony and sloth) must now be faced head-on if I'm to see an improvement in my health. Those might seem like odd vices for a thin person to confess to, but my hard-working metabolism has simply made indulging said vices that much easier over the years.

Fortunately my husband is willing to work with me on this, since he's overweight and stressed and feeling the need to improve his health as well. So we've already drastically reduced his beloved pasta, and my beloved sugary indulgences, while adding more vegetables and fruits. Fortunately, this seems to be having a positive effect for both of us in the form of more energy. I have not been experiencing as much of the severe fatigue that would often happen in the afternoons, when I would find myself fighting to remain awake.

I've got a couple of supplements ordered and on the way that will hopefully aid in restoring hormone balance; I've also dug out the jump rope I bought years ago. My husband got to snicker over my undignified efforts yesterday, but I think it should serve nicely as a source of cardio - besides being free, quick, and able to be done in my own backyard behind a privacy fence. I can tell I'm severely out of shape, though. 50 skips (not even proper jumps) and I was wheezing. Fortunately it seems improvement can happen swiftly - by my sixth set of 50 today, my muscles were sore but I was not breathing as heavily afterward.

Hopefully I'll be able to battle sloth successfully and stick to these efforts to improve my health. I certainly have a pressing incentive to succeed - there's a good chance the miscarriage was tied to my poor health. I do not want to go through that again.

*I realize that sounds odd, considering my willingness to draw from accumulated medical information to diagnose myself - but it's easier to diagnose symptoms than to find a nearby medical practitioner that can be trusted to provide working treatments. I'll go to a doctor to get a wound stitched or a bone set, but when it comes to the intricacies of the human body, I prefer to give my body what it needs to try and resolve the problem itself, first.

hk2's take

2011-03-13T07:51:00.002-05:00

This is an excellent post on a subject of Game. I know many are getting weary of reading about this topic, but it is worth your time to take a gander at this one. Without even getting into the subject of Christianity and the Bible's take on relationships, he pinpoints some of Game's worst flaws and explains a notion I had never been able to put into words: that a man should be a man with or without women.

Monsters

2011-03-13T07:29:00.002-05:00

The Palistinian people are monsters. They raise their children to be monsters just like them by saturating them with evil, hate-filled beliefs.

They hand out candy and celebrate when a Jewish family is brutally murdered in their beds, including the family's three children.

These people do not deserve anything from the international community except scorn.

A Small Arrow

2011-03-12T17:24:00.002-05:00

I confirmed my pregnancy Friday morning, even as I worried that something was going wrong. This morning, just one day later, my pregnancy ended, but that was not the end of the story. A friend of mine, not knowing what had happened, called a few hours later and told me about a dream she had two weeks earlier. In her dream, my husband and I had had another little girl that we named "Dart." My friend thought that was a really weird name, but my husband and I said we liked it. Apparently the name Dart means 'small arrow.'

So, my husband and I have another arrow in our quiver, and though we will not be able to hold her in our hands as we wanted, she is now in the very best hands that could ever hold her.

Wives

2011-03-10T18:21:00.003-05:00

IN LIKE manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives,

When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him--to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband].

<<<>>>

I wish that this passage were usually read from the Amplified version. It shows that what is desired of Christian women is so much more - and so much less - than mere submission. A woman can submit to her spouse and show none of the qualities listed above in the process - and she can refuse to participate in something she knows to be wrong while still displaying the qualities listed above.

<<<>>>

The question is not whether or not women should behave in the manner described, but whether or not the husband has the right and responsibility to make her behave in the manner described by whatever means necessary.

Game for the married Christian male

2011-03-10T09:15:00.002-05:00

I sympathize with the men that desire to fix their marriage. A marriage that is broken or malfunctioning is a very painful thing - I know, I've been there.

Boiled down to its essence, marriage Game is about getting a man what he wants from his wife; usually more sex, more respect, and less grabbing for the reins. Now, a man might say that marriage Game is about giving both the husband and wife what they want - he becomes a better husband, and in return she becomes a better wife.

Here again, we run into problems. He is only becoming a better man by sinful standards, and she is only becoming a better wife by sinful standards.

Vox has more than one thing wrong when it comes to Game. You see, men and women do have spiritual equality. We may not have the same spiritual responsibilities, but that is another matter. A Christian man and a Christian woman are both immortal souls, once lost from grace, but reconciled to God through the shed blood of Jesus our Messiah.

A man's wife's body and time may belong to him through the marriage covenant (as his body belongs to her now) but her soul belongs to her Creator. Did her husband shed his blood so his wife could be reconciled with God? Did he purchase her place in heaven at the cost of his own life?

Does a man own his wife?

No. God owns his wife. A husband is just a steward, just as a father and mother are stewards. We are human beings and no immortal soul "belongs" to us, to do with as we see fit for our own benefit.

A man may have headship in his family here on earth, but it is a temporal headship - a delegated responsibility, not a right. When he and his wife pass into eternity, that headship goes away, just as the marriage itself goes away, because what we will find in eternity is the real truth of which the marriage union is just a shadow.

What matters more here on Earth? Fleeting physical pleasure and happiness, or immortal souls?

A man's headship in a marriage does not give him the right to retard the spiritual development of his wife's immortal soul.

How does it retard her spiritual development? By transferring the responsibility for her actions from her shoulders to her husband's shoulders. Oh, there are plenty of women happy and content to be freed of responsibility this way. That does not make it right. A woman needs to learn self-control. She needs to learn patience. She needs to learn kindness. She needs to learn faithfulness. The fruits of the Holy Spirit need to become manifest in her life.

She is not going to learn these things when the impetus to do so has been removed. The husband that Games his wife is not helping sharpen her as iron sharpens iron - instead he is putting a brace on her back and a crutch in her hand. If the brace and crutch are ever removed, he and she will find that she does not have the strength to walk on her own. What kind of love is that? To keep someone spiritually weak so our own desires are fulfilled?

Adam certainly would have done well to tell Eve she should not eat the fruit, but it was not his responsibility to physically restrain her from doing so. Adam's responsibility was obedience to God - to refrain from joining Eve in her disobedience.

Game is not obedience to God. Game is joining Eve in her disobedience.

Game for the single Christian male

2011-03-09T14:15:00.004-05:00

The premise behind this one, as I understand it, is to allow a man to attract lots of female attention and to give him his pick of the women that show interest in him. Not for promiscuous sex, of course, but for finding (and holding) a mate.

The problem with this is that Game is not built to attract good marriage material for a Christian - it is unlikely to attract a woman in whom the flesh is being put to death for the sake of her savior - instead it attracts self-centered status-seekers in the throes of bondage to their sin nature. The second problem is that a man practicing Game to attract women is not just trying to attract women - he's trying to attract pretty women with "market value" in his eyes and the eyes of his peers. He's not looking for a Plain Jane that still has some acne from time to time and is a little overweight, even if the Plain Jane in question would be a faithful, forgiving, loving wife that would not be looking to trade him in for a better model. Please note, even Vox has admitted that not all women are the hypergamous woman that Game is tailored to. He's also stated that the men he terms 'deltas' could probably have good marriages to women that are not high status. Yet, all of this gets swept aside - the implication is not that it is worth being single and waiting for a woman of substance, even if a man waits a lifetime, but that such a creature is too hard to find, and he may as well get what happiness he can with the hypergamous crowd - besides, why settle for a 4-5 (no matter how good a woman she is) if he can use Game to get a 7-8 instead?

No doubt here is where supporters would tell me I have it all wrong: Game is actually about becoming a better man (in order to attract better women).

A better man by whose standards? The standards of sinful men and women.

I guarantee you that when God said David was a man after His own heart, He was not referring to David's ability to get the ladies to spread their legs. That aspect of David's personality is actually what got him into the most trouble with God, after leading him to adultery and murder, actions that earned him the death of his infant son.

There is nothing wrong with stripping away the bad habits and bad attitudes inculcated through Feminism. No woman should be put on a pedestal - no bit of creation, ever, should be put on a pedestal. The only One worthy of worship is our Creator. And no one should choose their actions based on fear of rejection or loss - we have not been given a spirit of fear - what can man (or woman) do to us? But when a man strips away the bad and the useless, he needs to make sure he's not replacing it with more of the bad and the useless. What is the use of stripping away your flesh only to replace it with your flesh?

2011-03-07T20:04:00.000-05:00

Where did this notion come from, that the Bible does not teach men how to interact with women? That a system like Game is needed because the Bible is lacking in this oh-so-important area of life?

I’m here to call horse-shit on that notion.

The Bible is quite clear on how we’re to treat everyone.

Love God.

Love your neighbor.

Love one another.

Love your enemies.

Nowhere in there is an exception granted on the basis that the other in question is a woman.

We even have it spelled out quite clearly just what love is.

So why are so many Christian men flocking to Game on the basis that the Bible has nothing of worth to say on the matter?

2011-02-10T18:52:00.003-05:00

My sister figured it was better to ask forgiveness than permission, so she made a facebook account for me. I'm going to go ahead and give it a try, so if anyone gets a request from a facebook account with a name that sounds like mine (but is spelled differently) that would be me. I meant to send messages along with the requests, but I'm inept and so keep forgetting. (Of course, you're free to deny the request even knowing it's me. :P)

The reason it's not under my real name is because I'm being all sneaky and pseudo-anonymous right now.

Oh, and Wes, is there any chance you're the Wes with a quote about being creepy on your profile?! Facebook suggested a bunch of people to me that I might know, and one was a Wes, and half the others looked and sounded Middle Eastern. Of course, the freakiest bit was that there were a handful that really WERE people I knew!

EDIT:
There are more people whose blogs I read that I would not mind adding to my friends list on Facebook. The only problem is that I have no idea what your names are since many of you post under pseudonyms. I don't want anyone to feel obligated to add me, or accept a friend request just because I send one, so I'll leave it up to y'all to contact me and give me the name to look for if you're okay with being added. ;) If you're okay with me knowing the name, but don't want the internet at large to know, say so in the comments and I'll give you an email address you can send it to.

2011-02-08T11:24:00.002-05:00

Because I love my mom I will phrase this sentence thusly:

Pharisees can go fornicate vigorously with themselves.

I'm learning

2011-02-05T22:38:00.003-05:00

I can now watch an opponent in a debate and see and identify their use of straw man arguments, appeals to authority and attacks on a person's character versus attacks on their position (is there a fancy name for that last one?)

Wee.

Edit: I found it, it's ad hominem.

Guess I've been picking a few things up that were left lying on the battleground over at Vox's place.

2011-02-05T21:19:00.000-05:00

"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under live robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." ~C.S. Lewis

Truth is funnier than fiction

2011-01-31T12:07:00.002-05:00

African country set to make farting a crime

This is one of those articles that just makes me want to howl with laughter.

Golly. Just when you think your own country's lawmakers are insanity personified, another country has to come along and prove you wrong.

Baseball player quits, says

2011-01-27T13:11:00.002-05:00

"I don't deserve $12m"

Meche announced last week he will retire, giving up the payday due on the last year of his deal. Meche has always been known for his integrity, according to The New York Times, but this move left the baseball world stunned. Meche said he just didn't like the idea of not earning his keep.

2011-01-19T22:29:00.002-05:00

Papapete on Game:

Aha! Eureka! I've achieved enlightenment! Neither my wife nor myself is human, since we don't behave as Game dictates. Obviously we're Martians.

VP commenter: The point, for a Christian man, isn't to pretend to be an alpha. The point is to become an alpha.

No. The point is to become perfect. The categories of Game (insofar as they apply to real life) are Fallen archetypes. They are not to be emulated, but transcended. Actually beaten into submission, and purified with fire until all the dross is burned away.

Amen.

2011-01-18T09:41:00.002-05:00

I have a guilty little secret: I sometimes read entertainment/celebrity news articles. So while browsing the Drudge Report's headlines today I clicked on a link about the Golden Globes. I definitely found myself entertained reading about Hollywood's elite getting their panties in a wad over being subject to roast-style comedic introductions by the show's host. Awww, can't handle less than complete adulation, boys and girls?

Brain Twinkie

Help Needed

2011-01-10T20:22:00.004-05:00

HELP NEEDED:

When you see this costume, what are the first things that come to mind? (Words, phrases, concepts, associations)

Do you believe the first things that come to mind for you are the first things that come to mind for most people?

If not, what do you believe are the first things that come to mind for most people that see this costume?

Edit: I should have picked a different picture, clearly - one that showed just the dress but no face. I was looking for impressions about the costume, not the girl. =P But... well, thanks anyway. =D

2011-01-10T16:30:00.005-05:00

There are times when someone says something so profoundly ignorant that it makes me want to smack my head into my desk or grind my teeth in frustration.

From a young woman's blog post regarding her belief that Christians should pay attention to fashion and dress nicely:

Bottom line: When you're going out somewhere, look in the mirror and ask yourself if what you're wearing reflects Jesus Christ to a sinner. And remember, your outside ALWAYS reflects your inside. What does your outside say about your heart?

There are so many things wrong in this statement that my head may very well explode before I can assemble a coherent rebuttal.

The first two things that came to mind: a warning about wolves wearing sheep's clothing and the fact that the pharisees were strongly chastised for making the outside look nice and shiny while the inside was filthy. Obviously these two statements alone make it clear that a person's outside will not necessarily match their inside.

I'm sorry, I stand corrected. That collar definitely screams rape, torture and murder.

Edit: Mr. Merrick, I'm sorry, it's clear that you must be a horrible monster because a person's outside ALWAYS reflects their inside!

Something more to Giraffe's taste?

2011-01-07T22:15:00.004-05:00

Scenes from closer to my neck of the woods.

Fort De Soto Park

Hillsborough River State Park

Rainbow Springs State Park

<<<>>>

No need to be jealous though: most of my two decades here has been spent seeing scenes like these.

Just something pretty to look at

2011-01-06T10:43:00.003-05:00

Lovely winter scenes that won't be seen in my neck of the woods any time soon!

2010-12-25T08:56:00.002-05:00

I don't think knowing the date of the birth of our Messiah is really all that important. I'm as grateful today for my Father's mercies and bountiful gifts as I am on every other day of the year. It sure is nice to have an excuse to get together with family, though. I have siblings visiting Florida from Texas and Tennessee and it sure will be nice to see them later today. I hope y'all enjoy your celebrations and have a peaceful and joyful time with your family and loved ones!

2010-12-08T08:37:00.005-05:00

I'm in a very tetchy mood this morning. Quick to anger. I'm not really in a bad mood though - in fact, it was 29 degrees when I got up this morning and the frost in the yards looked beautiful. I was very grateful for working central heat and for a Florida winter that actually feels wintry.

The reason I'm tetchy is because I am really - ******* - tired of people that call themselves children of God worshiping America.

Our nation is not the bee's knees. Our nation is not the most moral nation on Earth. Our nation is not the Chosen One of God. Our nation is not the God-ordained judge, jury and executioner of any other given nation. Capitalism and democracy, no matter how wonderful someone thinks they are, are fallible systems designed by man not by God. Show me the damned moral imperative to spread a system designed by man to the rest of the world. Show me! Point me the passages in the Bible that back the belief that one nation has the duty to police the rest of the world, with aggressive war if necessary.

<<<>>>

It would seem Desert Cat and I were thinking along the same lines but I liked the way he expressed it better. Go here if you're interested and make sure to read what he wrote in the comments as well. Good stuff.

Mantastic

2010-12-02T21:38:00.002-05:00

I really enjoy Cracked.com. This place has a lot of fluffy, entertaining trivia AND some really truly fascinating articles on science, history, nature, etc. If history textbooks were half as fun as Cracked.com history articles, students would actually pay attention. (Admittedly, Cracked articles may contain inaccuracies but they'll expose you to stories you might never have heard elsewhere.)

Today I got a great deal of enjoyment reading these articles, all of which pertain to various manly exploits that took place during various wars. (As a warning to those bothered by such things, colorful vulgar language is frequently used.)

War stories

War stories II

War stories III

War stories IV

War stories V

War stories VI

Now, I'm not a big fan of war. It's going to be a good thing when warfare has ended and the swords are beaten into plowshares. Even so, these are epic stories and after reading them I just like you males more than ever. You add so much zest to life.

2010-11-24T08:41:00.005-05:00

What is wrong with this article? Take a gander:

Publicity or no, some predicted little fallout from the planned protest, with many travelers at airports Tuesday deriding the effort and saying the stepped-up security measures made them feel safer.
At New York's LaGuardia Airport, traveler Ted Shaffrey, cited the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks as justification for more invasive screening.
"Tell all the people whining about getting patted down to remember 9/11," he said. "They're all whine-bags."
Marc Gruber, eating lunch at the Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International airport, agreed.
"I think there ought to be two flights," said the 53-year-old from Jacksonville, Fla., "one for people who want to be scanned and one for people who don't want to be scanned."
___
AP writers Ted Shaffrey in New York; Cara Rubinsky and Kate Brumback in Atlanta; Jay Reeves in Birmingham, Alabama; and Tony Winton in Miami contributed to this report.

<<<>>>

That's right, folks. The insulting quote from a 'traveler' is in fact a quote from one of the writers credited for the article.

EDIT: By the time I posted my comment on the article his name had been yanked from the article credits. Looks like the Ministry of Truth was alerted to some truth that needed fixin'.

EDIT the 2ND: They also removed his quote from the article. Too late, AP, I have a screen shot.

(screen shot trimmed to remove excess browser detail)

2010-11-22T22:29:00.004-05:00

Other people have an inner child. I have an inner angry senior citizen that looks like the guy pictured in the ad above. (On a not-unrelated note: ads from previous eras are a goldmine of hilarity.)

There's a forum one of my sisters convinced me to join. On the whole, this forum maintains a level of civility most places on the internet could only dream of.

Recently, one of the young women decided to take a ride on the Crazy Train, convinced that a general discussion involving an opinion contrary to her own opinion on a matter was, in fact, a personal attack that required action on her part. Enter angry verbal flailing.

Other women with more sense very gently and tactfully pointed out the errors in her logic and suggested she be more careful of how she handled her part in the discussion. They received responses that were the equivalent of fingers-in-the-ears while saying 'la la la I can't hear you!'

So, I stepped in, minus the tact. I told her, bluntly, that she was the one that had made the discussion personal, not the person she was accusing and being insulting toward. I gave a colorful analogy of her actions thus far. When she responded with more angry verbal flailing, I mocked her. There was a brief verbal spar which I felt rather ashamed to have indulged in with someone ten years my junior.

The result? She sent me an email acknowledging sometimes she takes things too seriously and thanking me for breaking the tension by giving her something to laugh about.

That made me feel like I'd taken her place on the Crazy Train. People aren't supposed to thank me for mocking them...

2010-11-13T20:41:00.005-05:00

He committed the murder.

I disposed of the body. He felt it was only fair.

We were both reluctant to take that step. We felt just a little bit of regret.

But it was necessary. Something had to be done.

What a creep she was. Those staring eyes and twitchy mouth, her fat, bulbous body atop scrawny legs.

She had never been invited but showed up anyway, and then she wouldn't leave.

You never wanted to turn your back on her, afraid you'd turn around and find her moving in your direction with that cold, blank stare.

She would sit in that corner for hours, so still, as though she might never move again.

We knew she was capable of violence. She was here for no other purpose than to kill.

True, she wasn't here to kill us. I didn't even like her intended victims.

But oh the revulsion we felt, staring at that door and knowing that when we walked through, she'd be somewhere on the other side.

If she had just picked another corner, maybe things could have ended peacefully. Why did it have to be a corner in our only bathroom?

The murder victim

Not the murder victim, but this is a good picture to show what size it was! Imagine that skittering over to join you in the shower. She had to go, I'm telling ya!

2010-11-13T01:15:00.003-05:00

It disturbs me that I can put 'scenic wonders' in the google image search engine and get a picture of a naked man hiking.

Someone entertain me!

2010-11-12T21:18:00.000-05:00

Bored. So bored!

2010-11-10T11:27:00.003-05:00

I've generally tended more towards pessimism and melancholy than towards optimism and happiness. Whenever things seemed like they were going well, they would seem like they were going too well, and I would start to wonder when the piano was going to fall on me. The last month or so I've noticed what seems to be the start of a transformation in attitude - I'm living a life of peace and bounty and learning to be grateful for it without getting lost in the fear of when it will all be taken away from me. This might be Egypt's seven fat years, waiting to be devoured by seven scrawny years, but the expectation of trouble to come seems like more of a reason to appreciate what I have here, now.

My life might not seem overflowing with bounty to the typical Western observer. Our two vehicles are thirteen years old. Our house is an ugly cement block house from the 70's, located in a neighborhood of shabby gentility. Several unfinished do-it-yourself projects are currently messifying the interior. It was purchased one year before the real estate bubble burst and has probably depreciated in value by at least 40k. We don't have the latest in technological gadgets. I do most of my clothes shopping in thrift stores and my grocery shopping at the Super Wal*Mart five minutes up the road.

I know my life is overflowing with blessings. Over six years ago, my husband and I were facing two of the hardest things fledgling marriages can experience: bad finances and a new child. Our elderly vehicle had gone kapoot. We were living off his unemployment checks and food stamps. My husband spent most of his free time immersed in Evercrack, sleeping until the afternoon and making excuses about why he had missed another day of job hunting, excuses not really for my benefit but for his own. I spent my time adjusting to the demands of my new son, loving him more than I had ever thought could be possible, while high levels of stress kept a mixture of exhaustion, anger and resentment simmering just below the surface, always threatening to bubble up and engulf us. To top it all off, my husband had brought credit card debt into the marriage - it was not a huge amount, but to people with nothing, even minor debts become huge.

My son would refuse to sleep until six or seven in the morning, though he would be relatively content if I held him, so we would sit together in front of my computer in the wee hours of the morning, where I found Worldnetdaily, Vox Popoli, Ladies Against Feminism and a host of Christian bloggers, all of which helped me maintain my sanity and caused an awakening of sorts. I started to realize how selfish and pleasure-seeking my life was. It was not who God wanted me to be and it was not who I wanted to be. I realized that if I wanted to make a conservative marriage work that I would have to stop thinking like an egalitarian. I prayed, over and over, for God to help me honor my husband and treat him with respect, though I felt no respect for him.

We trudged forward, side by side and feeling very far apart, though we were closer in spirit than we realized, for God was slowly transforming him, as well. A friend's father offered my husband a temporary job with his surveying company. My husband began biking six miles round-trip, working often in the hot Florida sun and other times up to his hips in murky, snake and bug-infested swamps. It was a start. Later he found steady employment with a good salary and health insurance. He's had his job five years now and while he's grown to hate it, he keeps showing up for love of me and our children. While working full time he obtained his four-year degree, debt free thanks to tuition reimbursement.

I can look back over the last few years and see now that he loved me all along - not with kisses and trinkets and three words but with patience, forbearance, sacrifice and tenacity. He's not a Greek letter, or a Greek letter pretending to be other Greek letters. He's just an imperfect man that believes in God and struggles to maintain integrity in a world of sloth, apathy and corruption.

So here I am now, and it seems such an incredibly short time for such a transformation to have been worked in our lives. I have a husband I can actually feel respect for and three beautiful children who light up my life. I have a house and two cars. We're living within our means and our mortgage and bills are paid every month without having to use the whole paycheck. We eat our fill of food much of the world would salivate over. We have electricity and running water, two of the best inventions ever. I'm here, at home, with my children. I'm home-schooling, at least for this year, and grinning widely over the fact that my son is learning to read and that I am his teacher. Overflowing with blessings.

I've done nothing to deserve all this material comfort. But I am thankful for it and I will endeavor to be truly grateful for as long as it lasts.

2010-11-09T20:27:00.001-05:00

Dang it!

Why do you people have to link to web comics? They're like potato chips, you can't stop with just one...

2010-11-07T08:51:00.002-05:00

A very readable, concise post from Code Monkey Ramblings on why America is screwed.

(Mike, if you read this, I couldn't comment on your post because I got an error when trying to comment from my google account.)

2010-11-01T08:23:00.002-05:00

"Mommy, this eyeball tastes delicious!"

Heard out of context, that sentence might raise an eyebrow or two, but it was just my six year old eating a selection from the Halloween candy he collected last night.

I find myself in an odd position. I was raised in a family that did not celebrate Halloween because my mother strongly disapproved of its pagan origins and focus on death and spirits. She still feels that way.

Now, I'm married to a man whose favorite holiday is Halloween. Though he's been scheduled to work for the past few years, his parents have always requested the children that night so they can take them trick-or-treating. It's a good thing I never shared my mom's strong feelings about the holiday. My husband would (understandably) take it personally were I to make a fuss and try to convince him to stop celebrating the holiday.

2010-10-13T08:25:00.002-05:00

Bob Burnell

Jichuan Shan

I don't get this kind of gorgeous fall color in my neck of the woods, so I am glad I can find such lovely photographs of it. In a couple of days I will be heading for Tennessee to visit my family, which should give me the opportunity to see some fall color in person, for a change!

Photos credited where possible: the three in the middle came from random free wallpaper sites.

2010-10-09T08:52:00.003-05:00

The debate on Calvinism continues elsewhere.

Those that support Calvinism or 'reformed theology' seem to believe that the idea of man being given free will is incompatible with a sovereign God; it makes man look powerful and makes God look weak and powerless.

This is what I wanted to post in response.

<<<<>>>>

So explain how limited atonement and predestination before the forming of the world are any better than the idea of a poor, broken-hearted little God whose sovereignty has been taken away?

The God of Calvinism is indeed sovereign. Not only did He predestine a portion of humanity to come dwell with Him after death, He created billions of human beings in His image, with consciousness and a conscience and the ability to be aware of something higher and more powerful than themselves; predestined them to live out their lives on earth, both enduring the evil of others and inflicting evil themselves; afterward to suffer eternal torment, just to prove what an awesome God He is in the eyes of His elect.

That might be the God some of you see in the Bible, but it certainly is not the God I see.

Have any of you ever suffered? I mean really suffered - to the point that you wished you had never been born, or that you had the courage to kill yourself because surely that would be better than the mental, spiritual and emotional agony you lived and breathed?

Have you ever contemplated eternity? Being without time? Without an end?

If you have, you should be wondering how the God we're told is the God of love, whose greatest commandment is that we love Him and that we love our neighbors, would deliberately create billions of souls on purpose just so they can suffer torment for eternity. That's His 'better plan'? The plan of a good God?

I fail to see how a God that chose to give His creation a choice is no longer sovereign.

The God Calvinism paints is like a father that has ten children. Three he decides he will love and cherish and give an inheritance to; the other seven he keeps chained in the basement and pimps out to the local pedophiles.

<<<<>>>>

I haven't yet posted this on the forum in question. I actually like the people there and think that perhaps this post is a little harsh. So I'll wait and reread the post later and figure out whether or not I should alter it or simply skip posting altogether.

Meet Hazel

2010-10-05T18:16:00.004-05:00

Meet Hazel, a four month old mutt. It turns out that the Humane Society of a nearby town was much more reasonable about the need to find a home for the dogs in their care. They had no restrictions about indoor vs outdoor dogs, though they did recommend we keep her inside for a couple of months for the purpose of socialization, training and getting her used to the children. That made good sense to us so we'll have her inside with us for a bit. In addition to the $75 for purchasing the dog (already spayed and with all shots she is old enough to receive), they threw in two bags of dog food, toys, food/water dish and even a crate, free. Not only that, the volunteers were personable and they fudged their own rules for us. They had a notice stating puppies under six months old could not be adopted to families with children under six years of age, but they let us have her anyway. Sensible people (I'm sure it didn't hurt that all three of the kids were as good as gold the entire time we were there, and very gentle with the dog). So, that Humane Society gets high marks for the ease with which we were able to adopt from their facility.

2010-10-05T17:14:00.002-05:00

Hilarious!

“These two men are a disgrace to their badges, but they should not reflect on the hard working men and women in the police department."

Just a wee bit embarrassing for your force there, eh PPD?

2010-10-04T10:54:00.003-05:00

This morning I noticed a new comment notification in my email. Normally I just delete them but this time I opened it and saw that it was on a very old blog post. I looked up the post and found 22 comments. Apparently, these are kindred spirits from multiple continents that share my loathing of the city and reached my blog by googling "I hate the city" and finding my post by that name. I wrote it five years ago. I'm humbled and gratified by the kind words expressed but also pained on their behalf. I hope they all find an open door through which they can escape their cage. We weren't mean to live this way. It isn't healthy.

2010-10-01T21:04:00.001-05:00

Ahahahaha! I was right! I WAS RIGHT!

Okay, well, close enough. I had always said that I never saw what the big deal was with Monet's paintings. He didn't look like an impressionist, he just looked like someone that was nearsighted and needed glasses.

Well, it turns out I wasn't far off the mark.

2010-10-01T07:32:00.002-05:00

His mercies are new every morning.

Earlier this year, my husband and I got in a heated discussion about spending money on household projects. We had three expensive items that needed to be updated: the A/C unit, the windows and porch doors, and the electric wiring and circuit/breaker board. He decided he wanted to replace the windows and put in a privacy fence - not just any privacy fence, but a pricey vinyl version. My priorities were the A/C and the wiring, particularly the A/C, which is at least 15 years old at this point and could go at any time, leaving us to face temperatures of 98 or more inside the house, with or without open windows. We'd already been having trouble with it last summer.

Well, he was set on his fence, and we'd already determined a long time ago that he gets final say on matters of large financial expenditures. So, I dropped it. I was pleasantly surprised to find afterward that he had at least opted for a compromise: the less expensive wooden privacy fence instead of the vinyl version. The fence was installed and we ordered our doors and windows from Home Depot and over the course of the summer he replaced them one by one, doing the lion's share of the work on his own.

The A/C, to my surprise, kept working. Replacing the old, leaky windows seemed to help take some of the burden off it and we were actually able to keep the house at 75 instead of the 78 of last summer. Well, yesterday, the A/C finally gave indication that it might be breathing its last. I spent the afternoon working on it, cleaning out the heavily clogged drip pipe and opening the front panel and clearing the sludge out of the drip pan and checking to make sure the pan was not fractured or rotted through. Afterward, the A/C seemed to be working again, but this morning I noticed that the temperature inside the house was rising in spite of the A/C being on.

That's okay though! This is not nearly the problem that it would have been at any point earlier in the year. When I checked the weather forecast, it shows that last night the temperature finally dropped below 70. We should be able to open the windows at night and hopefully keep the interior cool enough that we won't be looking at anything worse than 80-85 inside during the hottest part of the day. Do I know for sure that this was the hand of God? No, but I'm skeptical of this kind of 'coincidence,' and I'm going to give Him the credit for preserving the unit for just as long as we needed it. We've already been working on saving up for the next expensive project, and by the time next summer comes around we should have what we need for a new A/C.

I am so thankful for the mercies of my Father, who knows what I need before I even ask.

2010-09-27T06:05:00.003-05:00

I was brushing my hair and a large amount of it was coming out with the brush. I decided this was something I could not ignore. Despite my dislike for doctors, I made an appointment to see one. I took the kids along. There were several people there waiting for appointments, including some family members. I had been waiting for a very long time and the children were bored so I left and drove to our second property to check on it.
I vaguely recall buying a second piece of property. Did we ever actually close on it? Has my husband been making payments on it? What was the price?
The place was a mess. Apparently we had purchased post-eviction, only they had never cleared the contents of the house.
Oh no, why did we buy this place? I think the whole floor needs to be replaced. They didn't even level the hilltop underneath when they built it, and I think the rooms are cock-eyed!
I ended up discovering a squatter. She was a nice young woman, living there with her boyfriend. I did not really mind, since my husband and I weren't using the place right now.
Am I liable if they get injured? Should I have them removed so I don't get in trouble?
I started looking for the children. I was having difficulty finding them and things were getting confusing. There were more squatters - virtually a community of them secreted away throughout this sprawling, tri-level house. One of them was the leader, a sinister man that looked a little like the terminator that was not Arnold. His name was John Connor. He did not like me, and I suspected something bad would happen to me and my children if I stayed. I gathered them together, thankful they were all unharmed, and headed for my car. Someone had changed the mode, and what had been a cross between an SUV and a mini-van was now a cross between a jeep and a convertible. I did not know what the correct controls were for getting it to change back, but I was scared so I just dumped the kids inside and drove off. The roof was malfunctioning and I couldn't see very well, so I tried to put the top down. This caused erratic driving and I saw flashing lights in the rear view mirror. I pulled over and tried to explain that I was having problems with my car. Yes, I know my kids aren't in car seats, we were in danger and had to get away!
Then I was back at the property, trying to keep my kids together, avoid John Connor, and try to find a way to bypass his sabotage of my vehicle. I did not succeed in avoiding John Connor, but fortunately before this dream could get any weirder or take even more sinister turns, the alarm went off.

As I explained to my husband, I think my brain was taking revenge on me for my lack of worry during an earlier conversation involving his application for another (less stressful) job that would involve a pay cut.
You're a woman! It's your job to worry and be fearful about the future! If you won't do this while you're awake, I'll do it for you while you're asleep!
I am glad that we do not, in fact, have a second house full of squatters to worry about.

2010-09-24T10:04:00.002-05:00

I've been bouncing around the idea of predestination in my mind and here are some of my thoughts on the matter.

We know that both God the Father and God the Son existed before time and now exist outside of time. I believe that because of the union between Jesus and the church (those that accept his salvation) that God could indeed know before the beginning of the world which individuals would accept that salvation, because He knows His son.

I am not, however, willing to embrace the Calvinist view of predestination in which we are essentially puppets. It seems to create a picture of God in which He one day sat down and drew up a list and arbitrarily assigned part of the list to salvation and part of the list to wrath, and nothing anyone does matters because either they're on the one or the other, and nothing they do can change that.

Foreknowing what will happen does not have to negate free will. Knowing that Bob will get himself killed while jaywalking drunk through heavy traffic is not the same thing as handing Bob the alcohol and then pushing him into the road.

To put it another way - I believe that God created everyone, even knowing that many would reject Him, but I am not willing to take it a step further and claim that God decided for us which would accept salvation and which would not. I believe it is quite possible for him to know what the decision is without having to be the one to make the decision.

While pondering, I asked myself the question: what if the Calvinist view of predestination was correct? How would I know if I were destined for salvation or wrath?

Then I realized it would not matter or make a difference in the way I live my life.

Either I strive to live my life according to the precepts of God and I am destined for salvation
Or
I strive to live my life according to the precepts of God and I am destined for wrath
Or
I live my life according to selfish hedonism and I am destined for wrath

No matter what the eventual destination, I would be better off living my life according to the principles set forth in the Bible than in embracing selfish hedonism. My life is what it is because of God and the teachings revealed through the Bible. It is a life that gives me great joy and satisfaction - joy and satisfaction that could not be obtained by living a life revolving around the pursuit of my personal pleasure.

So, in the end, predestination means diddly-squat to me and I find that I am at peace.

2010-09-20T19:48:00.003-05:00

Well, I've spent a couple of weeks brainstorming and have now finally started writing the first chapter. Unfortunately, while I thought the writing would be the easier part of the process, the opposite has turned out to be true. I can brainstorm and hammer out ideas while washing dishes, folding laundry or making lunch for the children. I cannot write while doing any of those activities. By the time approximately twelve hours of child care ends each day I've usually turned into a mental slug. Still, I'm going to keep working away at it, and I think if I start going to bed early and getting up an hour or so before the children wake up that I might manage to be more productive.

My sister thought I spent far too long picking out names for the main characters. I told her names are very important! After all, there is no way Twilight would have become so enormously popular had the main characters been named Hepzibah, Fernando and Billy. Not that I expect to write a bestseller. I'm not even sure I'll be capable of getting published. Still, I figure first impressions are important as far as publishers are concerned. And at least I feel like I'm doing something more productive with my time than playing computer games!

2010-09-13T07:30:00.003-05:00

Bieber Fever

The ignorance in this story is appalling. I'm no economist, but I can read and understand the basic gist of what has been happening. Painting the democrats as the hope for the future of young people is akin to painting Jeffrey Dahmer as the hope for the future of young homosexuals.

Orwell was a very smart man.

UGH

2010-09-12T09:47:00.002-05:00

So I'm online this morning and a pop-up materializes claiming my computer is infected with spyware and click now to remove blah blah blah... I have seen similar pop-ups in the past so I simply exited and tried to continue what I had been doing - only to discover that I could no longer use Firefox to browse the internet. Something called security suite kept claiming my computer was infected and that it could not perform the specified commands and would I please purchase their anti-virus program? It certainly was infected - infected with something called security suite which was on my toolbar and preventing me from doing anything online OR opening task manager. Fortunately my husband and I each have our own computers, and his was not infected. I located websites describing the problem and (very luckily) stumbled upon a user comment that told a fast way to fix the problem that did not even involve downloading new anti-spyware software. Someone named Anthony had left the following comment:

This is the easiest solution for Security Suite

Guys. I struggled with it a lot. Security suite does not infect any of the existing files. It is a separate application which runs and prevents other applications from running. It gives unnecessary pop ups making you believe that your system is infected with virus. Tried malware bytes and other clean up softwares. Security Suite appears as harmless to virus cleaner becuase it does not infect any files.

Here is how to get rid of Security Suite.

Open Windows explorer and got C:UsersYourNameAppDataLocal. If you are not able to open windows explorer, Go into safe mode and do it.
Find the newest ‘Date modified’ folder(s). Mine were: zsdxcxedw. They looked suspicious and were modified at the same time the virus started. If the Security suite virus started at the same time these folders were created/modified, chances are that’s the virus software. Delete this file and reboot your computer. You are done now.

Thank you, Anthony!

I tried his suggestion in normal mode first and then had to switch to safe mode. After clearing the files, which weren't too difficult to find (there were several) I connected my external hard drive and, while still in safe mode, backed up my documents, pictures and music. I sure am glad my husband kindly picked that up for me a few months back. After rebooting, I did find I had to fix the settings in Firefox, which the program had altered to run through a proxy setting. Now everything seems to be working smoothly again, and hopefully it will stay that way!

2010-09-05T18:19:00.003-05:00

I am both excited and nervous. I've determined to try my hand at writing a book and getting it published. After much consideration I have arrived at a setting, general plot and cast of characters that I believe would be marketable to a secular or Christian young adult market (allegory is a wonderful tool). Now comes the hard part: organizing my ideas into a coherent story and actually writing the thing.

I'm nervous because I know my track record of procrastination and dropping projects if they get difficult or tedious. I have good reason to go through with it this time though - my husband.

He hates his job. I know he isn't the first (nor will he be the last) to intensely dislike his place of employment and to feel stuck with it, but as it happens, he works in a very high stress field (so high stress that according to the collected statistics, men working 25+ years in this field are - with alarming frequency - dead within five years of retirement). At the moment, with the job market being what it is, he has not been able to find other employment with a reasonable rate of pay. If, however, we could speed up our payment of the principal of our mortgage and no longer have the expense of paying for the house, he would no longer have to worry about finding employment at his current rate of pay, as well as having the freedom to look outside our current state of residence.

It is not feasible for me to seek employment outside the home. We would not be able to successfully juggle schedules and still have family time and we both believe that our children receiving a proper upbringing is extremely important (they are our children; we are not going to pay someone else to raise them for us). At-home employment is not an easy proposition either. I have no particularly marketable skills or business savvy. I'm not particularly talented or gifted - except in one area: writing.

I'm aware that getting published is very difficult. The market is, from all accounts, glutted with would-be writers. But at least if I succeed in writing a book and then fail to find a publisher, the time will have been spent in a much more worthy endeavor than the two+ years I wasted playing World of Warcraft.

2010-09-03T21:27:00.002-05:00

Every now and then my mother, one of my sisters, or some other random person will link a video and suggest having a kleenex handy. Pshaw, I think, I'm tough, I can take it. And then I have to get a tissue. Oh well.

This is very encouraging to watch and hey, if I'm going to cry, I'd rather cry over something that is good and reveals and celebrates our Father's love for us.

2010-09-03T20:28:00.003-05:00

I haven't been reading World Net Daily all that much this year, but I clicked on it tonight and saw this article first thing. It just makes me sick. The treaty they mention is truly horrifying to any right-thinking parent that understands children need parental authority, boundaries and discipline.

2010-09-02T07:33:00.002-05:00

I have stumbled upon many debates on evolution vs creationism or vs intelligent design. Very seldom do I add anything to these debates. I am a creationist. I am firmly convinced that the universe is crafted by God. I have at times in my life been assailed by doubts as to God's nature, and whether or not He cared what happened to His creation, but my belief as to the divine origins of the universe has never come under serious assault. I find that it would take a far greater leap of faith for me to accept evolution than to accept creation.

I am not sure exactly why I avoid the debates. Partly, I suppose, from lack of 'scientific' knowledge. From what I have seen, those that believe in evolution will cite studies that verify their beliefs and expect their opponents to do like-wise. I don't have a host of studies at my fingertips that call into question conclusions that supported the theory of evolution. I believe it is ultimately an ignorant house of cards, but that even if I were to push that house of cards over, the evolutionist would simply gather them up, rebuild, and refuse to acknowledge the collapse. No doubt the evolutionist would view creationists in much the same way.

I look at everything that is 'known' about science, and I see a field of study in which errors have been rife and sometimes enormous in scope. They assume that certain conditions have been unchanging for X number of years, but either cannot or will not take steps to verify if that is the case. They'll claim they know the age of such-and-such, via this or that test. When it comes to light that the test in question was not accurate - and was perhaps grossly inaccurate because of missing data, they do not turn around and recalculate everything based upon those faulty time lines; they continue to teach as if the original conclusions were correct.

Each succeeding generation of scientists seems to take the attitude that mankind is near the zenith of scientific discovery and that soon all the secrets of the universe will be laid bare - and yet, each generation makes startling new discoveries that often cause more questions and show just how little we actually know.

I'm not an enemy of science and discovery. I find the universe and creation to be a thrilling place and everything that is revealed about the way the universe functions simply increases my awe at the power of my Creator. I slice into a lemon and I marvel at the way the thick peel preserves the contents, keeping them fresh and wholesome for weeks, but within mere hours of being cut, decay sets in. No matter how corrupted or degraded or mutated life has become, I still see the amazing hand of the Creator - in the growing bodies of my children, in the golden sunlight and the blue sky and the drifting clouds and the green of the grass and trees, in the wisdom of the Bible which remains as potent and true today as it was millennia ago.

For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse.

For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened.

Professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures.

2010-09-01T22:21:00.002-05:00

O Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder
Consider all the works Thy hands have made,
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy pow'r thru-out the universe displayed!

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee:
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!
Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee:
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

When thru the woods and forest glades I wander
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees,
When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur
And hear the brook and feel the gentle breeze,

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee:
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!
Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee:
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

2010-09-01T10:37:00.000-05:00

Ignore this, just needed to be able to post the picture so I can link to it elsewhere.

2010-09-01T07:17:00.002-05:00

As thoroughly entertaining as Jquip's suggestion was (and I can't say similar thoughts have not crossed my mind) my husband and I have decided that as long as they allow us to show pictures of compliance and drop the case at the hearing (we'll be reviewed by a 'special magistrate' - pretty fancy title for this little redneck Florida town) that we will also simply let the matter drop and try to push the lawn up on our list of priorities so as not to give the busybodies the excuse to set code enforcement on us.

I went out near dusk last night and tackled the first section of lawn - I discovered the street lights are actually bright enough to make mowing parts of the lawn after the kids are in bed feasible - though the mosquitoes are getting bad by that time of the day. Still, it will make the chore easier to accomplish until winter arrives and we barely have to touch the lawn until Spring.

As I mowed there was a weed that gave off a pungent but pleasing scent; oddly reminiscent of both citrus and pine trees. It still strikes me as humorous that we're getting in trouble for not performing a chore that I actually enjoy. I like yard work, and if our front yard were fenced and safe for letting the little ones run free while I worked, I'd be out there much more often.

2010-08-31T11:15:00.004-05:00

I understand that we are not the most pleasant neighbors to live next to - if you care about appearance, that is. Our lawn is almost always overgrown and weedy and we have some construction materials stacked on our carport and against one wall, related to various DIY projects.

Even so we have done nothing, beyond an overgrown yard, to merit having code enforcement rammed down our throat. Apparently one or more of our neighbors are that most vile of creatures - a busybody. This morning I heard a knock on our door. It was the lady from code enforcement. I politely accepted the paperwork she had for me and took it inside to read it.

We were charged with the following violation (spelling and grammar preserved - my inner editor is peeved at being served papers with obvious errors):

Overgrown vegetation, trash & debris. Property presents a Serious threat to the public health, safety and welfare. Complaints of snakes. Rats, have increased because of the condition of this property.

I just about went through the roof. I was so angry that I did something just about unheard of from me - I called the lady from code enforcement and told her we most certainly did NOT have rats. We always keep our trash in the appropriate bin issued by the city. We do not have any fruit trees. We do not have anything in our yard that would attract rats. She did not want to hear what I had to say and instead made a snippy comment to the effect of "oh, well, if you guys don't want to keep your lawn mowed..."

Since she was unhelpful, and I was still seriously steamed, I called up city hall and asked for her supervisor. She was polite and sympathetic, at least, and not at all snippy - though not necessarily overly helpful either, bureaucrats seldom are. I'll have to call her back though, because after I talked to my husband he said I should obtain a copy of the corrected paperwork, either with the sentence about rats removed or properly noted that we have disputed that charge.

Ugh. Still steamed.

Update: I have been advised that if we feel the paperwork needs to be updated that we will need to speak to an attorney, because Vanessa, the code enforcement lady's supervisor, cannot (will not?) update code enforcement paperwork once it has been filed with the city - even if the paperwork in question included unfounded statements.

"So you can say that we have rats, but you can't say that we don't have rats?"

"I can't say anything..."

Bureaucrats, indeed.

Glass Houses

2010-08-30T21:25:00.003-05:00

As a child I once built a lego house whose walls consisted of windows. As I admired my handiwork I realized that I would very much like to have a real glass room. I envisioned it as being glass almost floor-to-ceiling, but lined with low, cushioned benches that were also bookshelves. It would be set out in a pretty field somewhere and I would sit inside on rainy days and enjoy watching the storms. I've had that image in my head for somewhere around twenty years now and find it as appealing as ever. So, while I do not as a general rule appreciate modern architecture, I like the look of these houses.

2010-08-30T13:02:00.002-05:00

This just makes me giggle. I don't watch or listen to Beck's show, and so know little about the man and what he is like, but I'm definitely getting a kick out of how much of a knot he's put in the knickers of the left.

2010-08-30T12:58:00.000-05:00

Something marvelous has happened.

It's August in Florida and it's under 90 degrees outside!!

2010-08-29T21:11:00.004-05:00

Excerpts from 40 Years of Scotland Yard:

It is not good for the service when an officer is afraid to use initiative or accept responsibility. I believe that I was considered a disciplinarian and, indeed, I never feared plain speaking. There are slips that must be dealt with by a heavy hand. But official nagging never appealed to me. I have seen the hearts of too many promising men broken by petty routine. It is one thing to deal with a man direct--to tell him straight that he has been a fool; it is another to put on paper some portentous reprimand that will hang to his official record for twenty or thirty years.

<<<>>>

In the end, every bit of evidence has to be proved by the spoken word of some witness--even a document or a bloodstain has to be sworn to. Human nature being what it is, witnesses will sometimes make mistakes, or consciously or unconsciously distort the truth. No witness is infallible, although there is a tendency among some people to think that a certain type of scientific evidence cannot be doubted. In fact, experts are no more immune from mistakes than other folk. I would much sooner accept the word of an intelligent and disinterested man in the street when he says that at a particular time and place a definite event occurred than that of a gentleman who asserts opinions and theories as if they were unchallengeable facts.

<<<>>>

I have been often asked whether I made a point of carrying arms when likely to run across dangerous or violent criminals. In fact, I never worried about it, and even at the siege of Sidney Street I was unarmed. On occasions, when I have known colleagues of mine to be carrying pistols, I have, I honestly believe, been more scared of them than of any criminal. From a police point of view I think it is a mistake to carry any lethal weapon. It needs a very nice judgment to hit upon the exact moment when one would be justified in using a gun. In this country an officer would only be entitled to shoot when his life was in imminent danger. To pull the trigger a moment too early, or because of some misunderstanding, would almost certainly bring about a charge of manslaughter.

<<<>>>

The truth is, it has been realized that vindictive punishments are not, as a rule, effective deterrents. Not quite as well appreciated is the fact that the only way to stamp out crime is to impress the criminal with the certainty that he will be caught and punished--within limits the amount of punishment does not matter.

<<<>>>

I enjoyed this book immensely. It was very refreshing to read the memoirs of a man from an era preceding the blight of feminism and political correctness. Not that Mr. Wensley was offensive - quite the opposite. A hard-working man of courage and intelligence but also honest, scrupled and respectful of others. I would definitely recommend this to anyone that can manage to procure a copy.

Oh, and lest there should be any confusion, the majority of the memoirs were simply cases he worked on and the people he worked with - the philosophical musings, such as the ones I quoted, were a minor aspect but important in what they reveal of Mr. Wensley's character.

2010-08-28T16:02:00.002-05:00

It was a busier Saturday than usual for us. My husband will be on day shift for the upcoming week, so he is working on readjusting his sleeping schedule now. In order to keep himself busy and awake we set out on errands - first to obtain a marble slab. For some reason our largely unassuming 70's cement block home has marble window sills, and one of them is broken and needs to be replaced as we replace the window as well.

After that it was off to the SPCA, as we now have a privacy fence around our back yard and the boys have been asking about a dog. This was our second time going and it seemed that they had more animals of a promising nature this time around. We found a two month old lab/golden retriever mix named Dexter with a very winning personality. He seemed to like us, we liked him, and so we filled out the paperwork and were told we would have to talk to an 'adoption counselor' before everything could be finalized. So, as they were rather busy, we waited at least a half hour, while the boys were as good as gold and happy with the prospect of finally getting a puppy.

Lo and behold, the adoption counselor tells us that we cannot have the puppy if we intend to keep him outdoors. Apparently the health risk to the dog is greater if they're kept outdoors before six months of age. Okay - well, we can keep him indoors for a few months and then move him outdoors. It's not ideal, but we can make do. At which point, said counselor informs us that to get a puppy used to being indoors in air conditioning and then sending him outside would be cruel.

This was obnoxious. My husband was immediately set on edge by her attitude but we asked to have a moment to ourselves and discussed the issue. We could always simply agree to their terms and then do what we wanted once we had the puppy at home with us - but neither of us wanted to set that kind of example for our children. Telling them not to lie or practice deception and then turning around and doing it ourselves was not acceptable. By this time, my husband was not just on edge, he was out-and-out angry - though keeping his temper in check. When the counselor returned, he had something to say - about the fact that the SPCA kept all dogs over six months of age in non-air-conditioned kennels and that if a puppy was not adopted prior to reaching the six month mark, they would be moved from air conditioning to no air conditioning by the SPCA - the same act referred to as 'cruelty' were we to perform it. The counselor said 'I don't make the rules' in a tone of voice that suggested she agreed with the rules and merely hid behind them so as not to seem personally responsible for refusing the 'adoption.'

My husband requested a comment card, and was informed they did not have any. He asked - and received - a piece of paper to write a comment on but was at the same time informed that rules were made by the board of directors. At this point I decided it was best to get the children loaded into our vehicle, but left my husband behind so that he could ask for the paperwork with our personal information on it. The lady he spoke to about that told him they did not usually return them, to which he responded 'well the adoption didn't go through, did it?' and was then given the form. Meanwhile, I had to explain to our oldest, who was questioning where the puppy was, that we were not allowed to have it. (Thankfully he took this much more gracefully than I was expecting.)

My husband and I both stewed over this as we left the SPCA grounds. We would never have taken the boys to the puppy room, and let them get their hopes up about a puppy, if they had informed us of that rule, or had it posted anywhere. Not once did the lady that took Dexter to another room to 'meet' us and then gave us the adoption paperwork ever mention the rule, even though we mentioned we were there to get a dog because we had a fenced yard now. Then there was the ridiculous hypocrisy involved since they would be moving puppies that passed the six month mark from the air-conditioned kennel to the non-air-conditioned kennel.

I rather disliked the SPCA to begin with, on general principle, so this certainly did nothing to change my opinion.

At least lunch and our next errand - a trip to a used bookstore - improved our moods. My husband even found what looks like a very interesting read: 40 years of Scotland Yard, the memoirs of Frederick Porter Wensley. It was published in 1935. He began working as a constable in 1888.

From the introduction:

It may seem an odd thing to say of a man whose record as a detective is second to that of none, but if I were asked to indicate the dominant personality quality of Frederick Porter Wensley I should say it was simplicity. He has no poses, strikes no attitudes. He looks men and things in the face and with a childlike logic strips them of all nonessentials. "Y'know" he will say, in that slow emphatic way of his, ramming down the tobacco in his pipe with his thumb, "the truth is all that matters. The single object is to get at the truth."

I'm greatly looking forward to reading this, as is my husband.

2010-08-27T15:26:00.002-05:00

Oh come on! The Espresso Book Machine can be found in North Dakota, of all places, but the closest ones to me are Louisiana and North Carolina. =( =(

Florida needs an Espresso Book Machine.