The Wonderful World of Fashion

I had thought of several things I could blog about yesterday. One of them I'm not ready to rant about yet. Most of the rest I have already forgotten, except for one thing: skirts.

Having discovered that much of my wardrobe was becoming too disreputable to wear, or simply impractical, I decided to do some clothes shopping. Ten years ago, I shopped for clothing based purely on two things: looks and price. The requirements have changed a little though since having children. Now, first things first, can it be washed and dried via machine? If not, I won't buy it. I've lost far too many items because I or my husband missed pulling it out of the load before it went through the dryer.

Well, off I went to my usual shopping grounds - thrift stores, discount outlet stores and the evil* leviathan that is Wal*Mart. I managed to find quite a few reasonably priced, cute, comfortable and practical shirts. However, I also needed skirts. I prefer them for summer since they tend to be cooler to wear than pants. For skirts, I had some additional requirements: Approximately knee-length, dark colors or prints, durable material. Short skirts have been out ever since I had my first child. A) I don't want to look like a tart mom and b) working with toddlers while wearing short skirts makes the likelihood of embarrassing wardrobe moments much higher. And while I love swishing around in long skirts, the truth is that I'm constantly getting them caught on things around my house or even stepping on the hem and tripping myself. Plus, they provide a lot of material for a toddler to grab and yank.

I was aware that with my rather stringent requirements my choices would be limited. Funnily enough though, when I actually got around to shopping, I made a discovery:

Skirts have gone out of style. This left me a little flabbergasted. I've never done so much shopping and seen so few skirts of any kind. Now there are just rows and rows of shorts and coolottes. I went to Wal*Mart first, and thought perhaps it was just a fluke, but after going to Ross and Beall's Outlet as well, I realized I must be facing the newest fashion trend. Now, I don't really care if other people wear shorts and coolottes, but I don't want to wear them myself, because they generally look dowdy (on me, at least).

I blame the 80's revival in fashion for inflicting us with "menswear" inspired articles of clothing. I'm sure we all remember the shoulder pads that made an appearance back then, which were supposedly meant to add masculinity to a woman's appearance and thus increase the respect she was given in the workplace. (I'm giggling inside right now, by the way, over that piece of idiotic reasoning.) The worst thing is that not only do the shorts and coolottes have a "menswear" look to them, they look like they were inspired by old men hanging out on a golf course. The only way I could possibly rock this trend is to combine the old-man shorts and coolottes with flirty shirts and big boots. Oh yeah, and be eighteen again, because wearing that ensemble as a twenty-eight year old mother of three would definitely make me look like I was trying too hard to look youthful and edgy.

So now I will have to find the time to hunt further afield, in consignment shops and more expensive stores where I might be lucky enough to find something on sale. Otherwise, I will be living in jeans for the summer. Which is likely to leave me a little hot and sweaty at times, but at least I will not look like I beat up old men on the golf course and steal their clothing.

*Wal*Mart is not actually evil, just successful, which according to many whiners out there, equates to evil.