Monday, June 03, 2013

I just need to admit this....

Dead blog is dead.

I'm not the same person that I was when I started this blog. I'm almost afraid to look at my oldest posts in case I should find that I am left cringing.

If I ever decide to start blogging again, I'll want a fresh start. This volume is finished.

I've met many lovely people through this blog, and I hope you all have much joy in your future!

Thursday, November 29, 2012

It seems the spambots are out in full force.

So, for those of you that still drop by now and then, I have a question - what sort of blog comment restrictions do you find less tedious? No anonymous comments allowed, or anonymous comments allowed with word verification enabled?

Update: lol, so the spambots come through, but Wes gets diverted to the spam? Nice... good thing I had email notification of comments. *grumble*

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Still alive. Little time, energy or brain power to spare for blogging, so this is still on indefinite hiatus. 

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

At the end of January, just as I was finally reaching a point in the pregnancy where I felt fairly well and had some energy again, the children and I all caught a nasty respiratory infection. Toward the end of February, the children and I caught an exceptionally nasty stomach bug that was going around, which landed me in the E.R. after twelve hours of being unable to keep anything down. Three weeks after that, our fourth child was born, two weeks after that, my father-in-law died, and two weeks after that the midwife looked at my daughter and used the heart-wrenching term 'failure to thrive.' A week after that, we were in the E.R. again, this time for my daughter. It was an incredibly stressful time; the most stressful I can recall in my life. I never want to go through a time like that again. 

I'm very grateful though - my daughter is thriving now, right where she should be developmentally according to the last pediatrician visit. The stress has greatly diminished, due not only to my daughter's recovered health but to a visit my wonderful mother paid me, where she spent several days selflessly working around my house to help clean and organize what had become wretchedly messy during the months of a very tiring pregnancy. Thank heavens for a mother that loves me and for my step-dad for conceiving the idea and paying for the plane ticket. 

So, here I am, grateful but also tired and mentally exhausted on a fairly regular basis, which has made writing anything longer than a facebook status feel like a chore most days. I don't know if anyone is even bothering to visit my blog by now! Anyway, that's an update for those that might decide to swing by. Thankfully things are not very exciting at the moment.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Prayers were answered and within three hours of arriving at the birth center to see how labor was progressing, our second daughter was born - quickly and easily and I felt better afterward than I've felt after any of my other labors (less than ten minutes of pushing appears to make a difference...)

Her oldest brother is pleased, because he wanted a sister so the family could be 'three boys and three girls.' His obsession with symmetry continues, though, since now he thinks she needs to have blue eyes so we have three people with green eyes and three with blue. All three of the siblings are pleased, actually, and were just a tad overwhelming for their new sister in their efforts to shower affection on her. (This is better than when we increased from one to two, and our oldest asked if we could take his new brother back...)

Anyway, I am filled with gratitude to have my little one safe in my arms, and for the difficult pregnancy to be at an end, finally. I'm very grateful for all prayers said on my behalf, too!

Monday, March 12, 2012

It looks like labor is getting started, for which I am very grateful - I did not want to be pregnant another couple of weeks.

I always experience some trepidation approaching labor and delivery - that prayer that neither the baby nor I will end up as a negative statistic. It's not the idea of dying myself that bothers me, because whenever that happens it is going to be an adventure. No, it's the idea of having to leave my husband and children behind. I know God doesn't need me around to make sure my kids grow up to follow Him, or to be healthy and well-adjusted - and I sure do appreciate having been given the gift of marriage and motherhood, two things I never expected out of life when I was a young woman still deep in the throes of depression and doubt. So, I try to set aside the fears an active imagination brings to mind, reminding myself that no matter how long this gift is mine to hold on to, it is a greater gift than I ever expected, and has been a greater source of joy than I ever thought possible. I cherish the years I've spent with my husband and the children we've brought into the world together. I'm praying our newest child makes his or her way into my arms safely (and soon!)

Friday, February 24, 2012

Monday and Tuesday I felt great. I had -finally- recovered some energy after having been sick a month before, had plans to use said energy to get the house in better shape, and stocked the fridge with ingredients for a few nice meals... Wednesday afternoon I was in the ER on my own behalf for the first time ever in 30 years, after having spent 12 hours emptying myself of everything, even water. Well okay, it wasn't on my behalf - it was because I was worried about the baby. If I hadn't been pregnant, I would have just toughed things out.

It turned out the trip to the ER was largely unnecessary - apparently I had hit a turning point for the better right around the time I arrived at the ER, and started being able to hold down liquids again. I was dehydrated, but not severely so, and when they did an ultrasound they were able to determine that my condition had not affected the baby, whose fluid levels and activity levels were perfectly fine.

But, I'm right back where I've been for a very large chunk of this pregnancy - sick and weak and forced to spend a lot of time lying down while the house continues its steady slide into decay. So, I will just try to focus on how very grateful I am that both the baby and I are okay, and try to convince myself that I am not a bad person based on the state of my house.